Manners

As I careen through my days dealing with humans (and others), sometimes things that they say or do catch my attention, good and bad.


Things that make me go “Hmmmm…………”


I’ve noticed that the world of communication manners is changing. I lay this change at the door of 2 developments: texting, and dealing with the people who are crazybusy dealing with foreclosures and short sales.

I was taught that whenever I communicate, no matter what my point is, that point should follow a warm fuzzy.

Example:
I want to tell a seller that the price that they hope to get for their property is way too high and I won’t take their listing at that price – it needs to be a market value or we’re just wasting everybody’s time.

I send her an email. “Dear Mrs. Seller;
Thank you so much for taking the time to give me a tour of your wonderful home this morning. I greatly enjoyed myself, and your lemon bars are to die for! May I please have your recipe?
I’ve done a Comparative Market Analysis, which compares similar properties’ sales prices, which gives us a very good idea what an appraisal on your house would show.

It is my opinion is that it would sell for $100,000 to $110,000 today. I realize that this is about ¼ the amount that you told me……………..”


2 or 3 more carefully written paragraphs follow, clearly underlining and reiterating what I need for her to understand.


So that’s how I operate. I’m noticing, however, that people often open an email, read the first line, and respond.

So I get “Hey, Carol Anne – glad you liked the lemon bars! But what did you think of my price? You ready to come list it for $400K?”

BAM goes my head on the keyboard. This has been happening a lot lately.

Or I’m shooting emails back and forth with my asset mangler in the short sale department. When I’m satisfied, my last email is simply “Thank you for your time and attention, Alicia.” She responds, “This last email from you was unnecessary and wasted my time opening it. Please confine your communications strictly to business in the future.”
Huh!


Well, excuse the heck out of me, but I DO NOT agree that a thank you is unnecessary. (Alicia aside, I’ve noticed that asset manglers generally respond almost slavishly to a kind word. I suspect that they don’t get very many of them.)


I think that this trend goes back to the advent of texting. Back when every single letter was rationed we got pretty good at cutting out the fluff. I think it carried over into our everyday habits.


So what’s the solution? If we adopt an across-the-board protocol somebody is going to feel insulted. I can just imagine what my Mother-in-law would say if I sent her a card signed with only a


(:


but that’s perfectly acceptable in a text.


So it’s generational? Maybe. No, Alicia is 60-something, easy. Should we be brief with the younger generations and flowery with the oldsters? Nope. Some of the older people that I correspond with are the worst when it comes to abrupt emails. The key, I think, is technological competence. Maybe the more electronic time-savers somebody has at their disposal, the less time and patience they have for the niceties.