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Thanksgiving.  This is my youngest son's favorite holiday.  No, not Christmas, not Easter, not Valentine's Day, not his Birthday.

I asked him “Exactly why is Thanksgiving your favorite day of the year?”

He answered “Because it’s all about family.  It’s all about getting together and all of us contributing to the Feast, and just having a good day enjoying each other’s company.  It’s about gathering up some strays and sharing our good fortune with them.  The commercialism is at a minimum, the only stress is producing the food unruined and reasonably on time.  We all even help with the dishes.”

His youngest daughter (the 2-year-old) agreed, which is amazing because lately she has seemed incapable of agreeing with anything.  (I suspect that she is more focused on the pie aspect of Thanksgiving than anything else.)  She does expect to help with the dishes, though, God help us all every one.

OK, so we’ve got the family and the Feast all together in one place.  But let’s not forget the origins of Thanksgiving:  The Pilgrims were starving and dying, and would have all perished during their first winter in America if the Natives had not taken pity on them and brought them a Feast, plus enough supplies to get them through to harvest.  (Some would say “Badly played on the Native’s part!” Well, yeah - obviously, considering what happened next, but that’s not where we’re going today.)

So Thanksgiving is the day where Americans commemorate a very important moment of charity.  We’re reenacting a significant historical event that still affects us today.  But pared down to its bare leg bones, Thanksgiving was simply an act of kindness – one group of human beings saw a need in a different group of human beings and filled it.

Now at this point I could go off on a big ol’ rant about we have this politically, religiously, economically, health-care divided nation, and then I could point out that we are all the same – good people just trying to get along the best we can.  OK, so I just did that, but that’s not where we’re going today, either.

Where we are going today is to gratefulness, to appreciation, to giving thanks.  Doctors have known forever that the patient who sees and enjoys the beauty in their world and their life is the patient who recovers, often when they weren’t expected to.  So let’s start a revolution.  Instead of one day a year where we give thanks, let’s make every day Thanksgiving.

Quick!  Right now.  Think of 10 things that you’re grateful for. 

I’ve had some practice at this since a shrink made me agree to do this every day twice a day, so I’ll start.

Me.  I am grateful to be me.  Even considering my abundant flaws and foibles, I like me.  I find that getting to know myself is an unending adventure.  I crack myself up, I surprise myself, and I am grateful that I’ve survived long enough to develop into somebody that I like.

My body.  I am strong and healthy.  Even though sometimes I catch sight of myself in the mirror and am disconcerted at the havoc that age and gravity hath wrought, my body still gets me where I want to go.

My children and grandchildren.  I love them and they love me, and what’s more, I like ‘em.  A lot.

Faith.  Unless you worship money, knowing that there is somebody or something that understands what’s going on and cares about us is what’s gotten us all through the past few years.

The Verde Valley.  I marvel that I get to live in a “destination.”  I get to see the Red Rocks and Mingus and the San Francisco Peaks every day.  I run into tourists who paid thousands of dollars and traveled halfway around the world just to absorb a few of our sunsets and breathe our air.  We are blessed to live here.

We are Americans.  No matter who we thought should have gotten elected President, we were able to vote for our choice.  We were able to say what we thought.  We are able to criticize in any venue that we find appropriate.  I’ve seen posts on Facebook that would have gotten their author a 3 AM knock on the door and poof you’re gone in a lot of countries.  Sometimes I agree and sometimes I disagree, but they get to say their thoughts and I get to say mine and I appreciate that fact.

Experience and knowledge.  I was at a home inspection the other day.  My client asked me a question and I knew the answer.  I pondered how it was when I was new and didn’t know any answers.  I’m amazed that anybody worked with me when my only response could be “Um.  I’ll have to get back to you on that.”

My family.  I was born with one sister and one brother, both of whom I love and who are very important to me.  But there’s more - I notice that over the years I’ve accumulated many more brothers and sisters. 

I disagree with the old saw that says “You can’t pick your family!”  I have picked my family, and I treasure them.  I would not have made it if it hadn’t been for this new family who listened to me and supported me and loved me and was there for me.  Thanks, you guys.

The Dearly Departed.  I realized the other day that of all of the hundreds of people that I love and that love me, more of them are dead than are alive.  I thought about my Dad and my Mom, my grandparents, my stillborn daughter, the neighbors who emotionally adopted me and my son after my parents died, all of the friends and cousins and lovers and in-laws and stepparents that I’ve buried. 

I realized that they aren’t dead, not really.  They all contributed to me and to my sons and grandchildren and to countless generations to come.  As long as somebody that they influenced is interacting with somebody else, they’re still making a difference.

The other day my grandson was upset about a bully at school.  (This bully, from JackJack’s telling anyway, actually does sound like a vile child.)  I told him “My Grandpa used to say that you can tell a lot about somebody by their enemies.  That this horrible kid picks on you means that you’re a pretty special guy.”  This was a big comfort to JackJack. 

See?  Grandpa’s not gone, and the same will be true of me and you after we die and somebody remembers something that we said or did.

Look at what happens at Thanksgiving.  The dead are all over it.  I’m going to make my Stepfather’s Bagatelle, my Mom’s pumpkin pie, my Grandma’s pecan pie, my Grandpa’s dirty mashed potatoes, my Dad’s mushroom gravy, and my bread and stuffing.  My son is going to cook the turkey using his Grandmother in Arkansas’ secret sage butter recipe as best I can remember it. 

Number 10 – all of the rest.  There’s a roof over my head, electricity in the walls, heat and a bed and food to eat.  There are books and friends.  There’s a dog to take me for my walk and insanely gorgeous country to walk me in.  I’m not hungry, I’m not homeless, I’m not in prison, I’m not sick.  I can see, I can hear, I can talk, I can read, I can go anywhere I want and talk to whomever I want.  I have a job.  I have a brain that usually works pretty well.  I am blessed.

Now it’s your turn.

Happy Thanksgiving! 

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Manners

As I careen through my days dealing with humans (and others), sometimes things that they say or do catch my attention, good and bad.


Things that make me go “Hmmmm…………”


I’ve noticed that the world of communication manners is changing. I lay this change at the door of 2 developments: texting, and dealing with the people who are crazybusy dealing with foreclosures and short sales.

I was taught that whenever I communicate, no matter what my point is, that point should follow a warm fuzzy.

Example:
I want to tell a seller that the price that they hope to get for their property is way too high and I won’t take their listing at that price – it needs to be a market value or we’re just wasting everybody’s time.

I send her an email. “Dear Mrs. Seller;
Thank you so much for taking the time to give me a tour of your wonderful home this morning. I greatly enjoyed myself, and your lemon bars are to die for! May I please have your recipe?
I’ve done a Comparative Market Analysis, which compares similar properties’ sales prices, which gives us a very good idea what an appraisal on your house would show.

It is my opinion is that it would sell for $100,000 to $110,000 today. I realize that this is about ¼ the amount that you told me……………..”


2 or 3 more carefully written paragraphs follow, clearly underlining and reiterating what I need for her to understand.


So that’s how I operate. I’m noticing, however, that people often open an email, read the first line, and respond.

So I get “Hey, Carol Anne – glad you liked the lemon bars! But what did you think of my price? You ready to come list it for $400K?”

BAM goes my head on the keyboard. This has been happening a lot lately.

Or I’m shooting emails back and forth with my asset mangler in the short sale department. When I’m satisfied, my last email is simply “Thank you for your time and attention, Alicia.” She responds, “This last email from you was unnecessary and wasted my time opening it. Please confine your communications strictly to business in the future.”
Huh!


Well, excuse the heck out of me, but I DO NOT agree that a thank you is unnecessary. (Alicia aside, I’ve noticed that asset manglers generally respond almost slavishly to a kind word. I suspect that they don’t get very many of them.)


I think that this trend goes back to the advent of texting. Back when every single letter was rationed we got pretty good at cutting out the fluff. I think it carried over into our everyday habits.


So what’s the solution? If we adopt an across-the-board protocol somebody is going to feel insulted. I can just imagine what my Mother-in-law would say if I sent her a card signed with only a


(:


but that’s perfectly acceptable in a text.


So it’s generational? Maybe. No, Alicia is 60-something, easy. Should we be brief with the younger generations and flowery with the oldsters? Nope. Some of the older people that I correspond with are the worst when it comes to abrupt emails. The key, I think, is technological competence. Maybe the more electronic time-savers somebody has at their disposal, the less time and patience they have for the niceties.

We’ve been fighting this stupid rumor for 2 years that I’m aware of, that if anybody sells their home they will pay a 3.8% sales tax on the profits to Medicare, to fund “Obama’s health care act.”


I got this email this morning from 3 different people. 1 of those people was my Brother, inquiring if it’s true? The other 2 were just rabidly sheeping along, foaming at the mouth about how we have to vote to protect our homes and our equity.
Aaaaargh!
Here’s the body of this email:

> If you own a home, Please read this. THIS WILL BLOW YOU AWAY !!!!!
> The National Association of REALTORS is all over this and working to get it
> repealed, before it takes effect. But, I am very pleased we aren't the only
> ones who know about this ploy to steal billions from unsuspecting
> homeowners. How many REALTORS do you think will vote Democratic in 2012?
>
> Did you know that if you sell your house after 2012 you will pay a 3.8%
> sales tax on it? That's $3,800 on a $100,000 home, etc. When did this
> happen? It's in the health care bill and goes into effect in 2013.
>
> Why 2013? Could it be to come to light AFTER the 2012 elections? So, this is "change you can believe in"? Under the new health care bill all real estate transactions will be subject to a 3.8% Sales Tax.
>
> If you sell a $400,000 home, there will be a $15,200 tax.

> This bill is set to get the retiring generation who often downsize their homes. Does this make your November and 2012 vote more important?


> OH , you weren't aware this was in the Obamacare bill? Guess what, you aren't alone. There are more than a few members of Congress that aren't aware of it either.

*****************************************************************************
Can I give you some hard facts? The facts are that, yes, certain sales by high-income households will be affected by the new Medicare tax, possibly 1.5 percent of US households. (Not 1.5 percent of the US population - I said households.)
This tax applies only to people with an Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) of $200,000 for a single person or $250,000 for a couple.
The tax only kicks in after you take your capital gains exemption.

How about an example?
A couple with an AGI above the $250,000 limit sells their primary residence for $2 million. They make a $750,000 profit. Capital gains laws protect $500,000 of that $750,000, assuming that they have lived there for two out of the past five years. The 3.8-percent tax applies only to the $250,000 left over. Their tax liability under this new Medicare tax is $9,500. With all of the problems facing America right now, I’m not going to have a lot of heartburn over the fact that somebody in those income brackets profited $750,000 and had to give Medicare $9,500 of it.

My friend who sent this, please don’t be embarrassed that you were fooled. Somebody made this up and then published it, and then somebody else repeated it and it has spread like wildfire throughout certain circles.
To read the Health Care bill, go to http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/15/house-health-care-bill-fu_n_234372.html
To verify my research, go to http://www.factcheck.org/2010/04/a-38-percent-sales-tax-on-your-home/
Or, http://www.snopes.com/politics/taxes/realestate.asp


Or, http://www.realtor.org/small_business_health_coverage.nsf/docfiles/government_affairs_myth_busters.pdf/$FILE/government_affairs_myth_busters.pdf

Trauma Intervention Programs of AZ, Inc.



Volunteers Needed


Would you be able to give comfort to someone in their darkest hours? That’s what TIP volunteers do.


TIP, Trauma Intervention Programs of AZ, Inc., is a program where citizen volunteers respond to traumatic events, at the request of police, fire and hospital personnel. These volunteers comfort those affected by traumatic experiences, so that the first responders can continue with their jobs. TIP has hundreds of resources and dedicated instructors to work with to prepare you for such calls as natural or unexpected deaths, accidents, victims of crime, structure fires and suicides.


As you can imagine, this takes a special person to put themselves in the face of tragedy, to comfort a total stranger. “If someone who has experienced a tragedy has no one to lean on, you can really make an impact. I am honored to be allowed to share in what could be their darkest hour” states one volunteer.


TIP provides a caring presence and administers ‘emotional first aid’. They can be the information liaison between the client, medical staff, first responders, clergy and law enforcement and they are knowledgeable with county wide resources.


A TIP Training Academy begins on Thursday, April 26th in Cottonwood. For more information visit www.tipofaz.org or call 928-445-4655

THINGS THAT REALTORS® WISH THAT BUYERS KNEW UP FRONT:


1: Buying real estate today is not like the last time you bought real estate, and not like when your parents bought real estate. The rules have changed.


A majority of the reasonably priced inventory on the market today is either bank owned (a foreclosure) or a short sale (a property that we are trying to sell for less than the owner owes on it. We have to get the bank/lender’s permission to do this. This bank/lender does not often have a reliable system in place to deal with our request, which means that short sales can be frustrating, bizarre, and unpredictable.)

Understand that the bank/seller or bank/current lender in these situations does not care whether or not you buy this property. If you step away they know that somebody else will step up.


The old back-and-forth negotiation rules that we all know and love will probably lose you a deal or two. Listen to your REALTOR®’s advice – this is not their first rodeo.

2: All real estate agents are not the same.

About half of the real estate agents out there are just that – people licensed by the State of Arizona to sell real estate. The other half are REALTORS®. REALTORS® are also licensed to sell real estate.


The difference is that REALTORS® have joined the National Association of REALTORS® (NAR), the Arizona Association of REALTORS® (AAR), and if you are reading this, it was given to you by a member of the Sedona Verde Valley Association of REALTORS® (SVVAR).


A REALTOR® has sworn to abide by the NAR Code of Ethics. If they have not sworn to adhere to the Code of Ethics they will not be allowed to be a member of any of these organizations. You can read the NAR Code of Ethics at http://www.realtor.org/mempolweb.nsf/pages/code


Look for that big ®. It means that you are dealing with an ethical professional. It means that your REALTOR® is highly trained and regulated, and that you now have the Multiple Listing Service (MLS) and the REALTOR’S® Property Resource (RPR) at your disposal.


3: Zillow’s Zestimates (and their ilk) are not gospel. They’re usually not even very accurate. 



Zillow, Trulia, County Assessor’s property valuations – none of these tools are a reliable way to figure out what a particular property is worth. When you come to your REALTOR® and say “I want to offer the Zestimate price” you may or may not hear the snort, but I’ll bet it was there.


Zillow is an advertising site, not a property valuation site. Do you see those “Featured Partners” ads? Zillow makes money by selling those ad blocks, and they sell the ad blocks by getting people to come to Zillow hoping to get an insider’s scoop on property values.



Your REALTOR® has something better. We can pull current, accurate, targeted valuations through MLS and RPR®, using the RPR REALTOR® Valuation Model.


We know the neighborhoods and we know the properties. We can tell you what a property is worth and then we can prove it.

4: Your REALTOR® works on a commission basis.



REALTORS® do not usually get a salary. We get paid when your deal closes. We spend thousands of dollars to get licensed and thousands more in dues and continuing education. Gas, vehicle maintenance, clothes, cards, paper, ink, computers, office, MLS & SVVAR & AAR & NAR dues, all of this overhead is given to you on faith that you are real and are going to try to buy one of the properties that we show you.


People who think “It’s fun to look, and a cheap way to spend a Sunday” with no intention of buying might as well just come into our homes and steal money from our wallets and take the food off of our tables.


Also, trying to grab a piece of our commissions during the deal is tacky. It’s not “just good business” on your part.

5: Buying real estate does not have to be a fight.



Even though on paper this is an inherently adversarial process, in reality it doesn’t have to be. Some people say “Yeah, but they want to get the highest amount while I want to pay the least. Of course it’s adversarial!” I would counter with “You want to buy the property. They want you to buy the property. Your REALTOR® wants to help that to happen. Where’s the adversarial part?”


Deals can get blown and relationships ruined by the attitude that we must squeeze the last drop of blood out of the “other side.” We must not leave even one smidgen of crumb on the table!


Well, maybe you should leave that last crumb. Wouldn’t it be so much better after close of escrow if you felt comfortable calling up the seller and asking if they know why the trees are making that funny noise?



6. Your REALTOR® has the same fiduciary requirements to their clients that your attorney, priest, or doctor has.



That’s right – a REALTOR®’s client can expect the same level of confidentiality from their REALTOR® as you expect from your priest. Our agency relationship with a client mandates:



• Confidentiality


• Accountability


• Reasonable Care and Due Diligence


• Loyalty


• Obedience to lawful requests


• Advocating and Good Advice


• Disclosure






7: How do I become a client instead of just a customer?



Ask for, read and then sign the Buyer’s Broker employment form with your REALTOR®. If you don’t, all that you can legally expect is disclosure.




8: Yes, consensual dual agency is legal in Arizona.



Your REALTOR® is legally allowed to be both yours and “the other side’s” REALTOR®, as long as everybody involved is aware of what it means and agrees and gives written permission for them to do so by signing the Consent to Limited Dual Agency form.


What does signing this form mean to you? It means that the REALTOR® sort of sits on the fence in between both parties, refereeing. The reality is that sooner or later you will ask a question (How much will they really take for this property?) that your REALTOR® will answer with, “I’m sorry. I’m not allowed to answer that.” Rest assured that the other guy will get the same answer when he asks that same question (How much will they really pay?).



9. Your Arizona REALTOR® is allowed to write contracts.



We’re very highly trained in contract writing, and this is part of the service. If you want to run anything by your attorney, feel free. You don’t have to, but you certainly can.



If you have any question, ask your REALTOR®. They’ll be happy to explain until you’re satisfied.