Christmas musings, Christmas

I sat down to write my usual “Christmas Cheer” Bits and Pieces. I quickly became suspicious that it was turning out to be a clone of my “Thanksgiving Blessings” piece last month.

I can’t do it. Let’s be honest – I’m not a big fan of Christmas. As a child growing up in an alcoholic/workaholic family, Christmas was always (at the very least) disappointing, and often it was just plain awful. One year I mounted a focused campaign for a bride doll. For some strange reason I wanted this doll that I had seen in the Sears catalog desperately. Yes, she showed up under the tree all right, with my sister’s name on her tag. Parents with too much to drink and a child asking for an anomaly of a gift led to a mistake. It has not been forgotten.

Then, on December 15th, when I was 19, a tragedy in my family happened. That event led directly to an even bigger tragedy on Christmas Eve. I’m not prepared to talk about the particulars, but there I was looking at the Christmas tree and listening to the Christmas Carols feeling my heart break and wishing that I could die, too.

Time marches on. I was a single Mom with 2 boys, frantically compensating for the fact that given a choice I would have just ignored the whole accursed thing. I would happily have gone to China or India, where I suspect they don’t sing many Christmas Carols. Since I couldn’t do that I went full-bore and rampant with the commercialism of Christmas. I spent way too much money on way too much stuff, pretending that I didn’t want to scream most of the time.

Fortunately I came out of the “Happy Holidays!” closet years ago and admitted to the world that I don’t like Christmas very much. I was amazed at how many like-minded people are out there. (I know a guy who became a Jehovah’s Witness solely to get away from Christmas.) Some people embraced me like a long-lost sister, while others look at me like I suddenly sprouted a leg out of the side of my head. “How can you hate Christmas? Why, there’s lights and Carols and poinsettias and gifts and unicorns and sparkleys and Santa Claus! Comfort and happy happy happy joy joy joy! What’s wrong with you, you horrible Grinchy Scrooge, you?”
That’s OK – as Popeye would say, I yam what I yam and I’m hard-wired to look at the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s with narrowed eyes.

And now here we are, December 2010. I’ve gotten better – I don’t break out in hives anymore when I’m forced to be in the same place as a Christmas Carol. I don’t flinch (as much) when I suspect that I’m about to be inflicted with a Santa Claus.

I’ve found things about this season that I can get behind. I adore the concept of “Peace on Earth, Good Will Towards All” – that’s a good one. The lights are pretty. I’ve made peace with the tree. I like presents, and I give them because it’s fun to give and not because I have anything to prove. I like the feast and I love the family gathering. I like observing people that are actually enjoying this whole Yuletide thing, sort of the same way that I would watch an alien from another planet that I don’t really understand but find to be intriguing. I like to see that even the grouchiest among us try to be a little nicer, and I hope that this new attitude of theirs will last past December 25th. Hey, why stop now?

It occurs to me that I am not such an oddity in the global sense - most religions don’t much get into Jesus’ Birthday. So however you feel about the season and whatever your declared religion, find a place in your heart for some holiday spirit.

If you love the season, congratulations! I envy you. If you find it to be a chore, that’s OK. If you celebrate Hanukkah as opposed to Jesus’ Birthday, L’Chaim! If Kwanzaa is your thing, Umoha! If you celebrate the Hopi Soya Luna or the Winter Solstice, Cheers! The point is that whatever your personal reason for the season, remember the spirit of the season. Decide what matters most and keep it safely in the front of your mind.

I believe that the great leaders of all religions taught the same thing: Be nice. Be good. Do your best. Keep your priorities straight. Love another. Take care of the weak and feed the hungry. Do the right thing. We are all brothers and sisters, and what hurts one of us hurts all of us. Respect the Earth. At its best, Christmas embodies these concepts and gives us a season for embracing them.

Now, at THAT I can rejoice!

Happy Holidays!