Sunday, June 27, 2010

I want to give you some accurate information regarding the National Scenic Area legislation and debate.

On June 10th the Sedona Verde Valley Association of REALTORS® used AAR Issues and Mobilization dollars to send SVVAR’S Past President Holly Mabery to Washington DC to testify before the House Natural Resources Committee. She spoke of your Board of Director’s strong concerns regarding the proposed National Scenic Area legislation.

We feel strongly that this bill is a direct threat to private property rights. It is also a direct threat to the ability of future generations in this area to decide for themselves how to use their own properties and their public lands. The proposed NSA would encompass 160,000 acres. (Yes, I said one hundred and sixty thousand acres.) It includes the City of Sedona and the Village of Oak Creek, spreading out from HWY 179 to I-17, South to House Mountain and then over to Bill Gray Road, up along Casner Mountain and then up Oak Creek Canyon. It’s enormous.

Your board felt strongly that the proponents of a National Scenic Area understand neither its legal ramifications nor its inherent lack of flexibility and local control in the future. If these 160,000 acres is designated a National Scenic Area, it will literally take an act of Congress to meet our local needs regarding this land.

We’ve observed that the designation itself and the legal precedents involved with other NSAs continues to be used by special interest groups as a means to harass and sue and block management, infrastructure and other needs in areas within these special designations.

1. A few examples:
· The Hood River School District in the Columbia River Gorge NSA was blocked from acquiring 20 acres for a new school.
· NSAs in California and Virginia prohibit “new roads” in their boundaries.
· A private company was sued and stopped from constructing a wind farm outside, but near, the Columbia River Gorge NSA on the basis that if could affect the adjacent NSA.
· Courts in Oregon have ruled that the grandfathered rights of private property owners will not prevail over the new rules and regulations of the NSA.

2. Designations such as a National Scenic Area have been used as a legal basis for special interest groups to sue Municipalities, the Forest Service and adjoining private property owners.
These one hundred and sixty acres in question already has a governing document (Amendment 12 of the Coconino National Forest Management Plan) that was drafted as a result of consulting with the communities and deciding the best direction to protect and balance both the precious scenic beauty of our area and the needs of the citizens who live here.

Your Association has been on record opposing land exchanges of Forest Land in the Sedona Area since 1988, which is why we supported Amendment 12. We feel that it is wise to oppose the NSA, as we would oppose any plan that trades local control and governance for Federal control, as with a National Scenic Area.

Amendment 12 addressed many special aspects of the Sedona area. Most importantly, the Amendment stated that only privately owned land that is contained within that area may be exchanged for forest service land within that same area. The forest service recently stated that they have acquired all the large privately held pieces within the area that they desired.

The last two land exchanges that took place prior to Amendment 12 being put in place were voted on by the people of the area. These two exchanges resulted in Sedona Red Rock High School and the Sedona Cultural Park. These were the first forest service exchanges in 10 years and there have been none since.

Land transfers in the Sedona area in the past 20 years:
1990—Sedona voters approved a trade for development of the Sedona Cultural Park
1992—Sedona acquired the land to build Sedona-Red Rock High School
1993-2009—six private ranches (Marshall, Lincoln Canyon, Woo, Hancock, Packard and Bradshaw ranches) were acquired and placed in Forest Service ownership.)
Sedona would be the only municipality in the entire United States whose city limits are within a National Scenic Area.

This would be the largest NSA in the United States. The boundary proposed for this NSA comes 15 miles from Sedona south to within 2 miles of the current Cottonwood city limits and .25 from state trust land designated for annexation by Cottonwood. If we must consider an NSA, the Mayor of Cottonwood and City Council would like the boundary reduced from such close proximity to the Cottonwood city limits, back towards Sedona. The Cottonwood City Council Resolution still stands in opposition of the NSA because of its scope and size.

Last fall the previous Sedona City Council voted in opposition to the NSA. The new council seated on May 25th voted for the NSA. The NSA is not a foregone conclusion in Sedona - each new council may swing from one side to the other, depending on their level of understanding.

There was testimony about 5000 letters that have been gathered in support of the NSA legislation. Those letters were not gathered from property owners or people that live in the area. A majority of those letters were gathered from and signed by tourists. There was no education or explanation of the facts. Proponents of the bill gathered those letters under the pretense of “don’t you think we should save this scenic beauty?” without explaining that this goal has already been accomplished. Red Rock Ranger district head Heather Provincio is on record stating those letters are irrelevant because of when and how they were collected. They were removed from the Forest Service’s NSA file.

The proposed legislation provides for the Secretary of Interior to file a map and boundary description after this designation has been put into effect. None of us would ever advise a client to determine a boundary after they have closed escrow. This bill does exactly that. This fact alone would be a reason to oppose the NSA legislation.

The future of the Verde Valley is as important to REALTORS® as preserving the past and the scenic beauty. It is our opinion that the NSA designation only brings more confusion and paves the way for more litigation, at taxpayer expense. The legal precedents (set forth above) in other NSAs throughout the country are evidence of this.

The final argument thrown out by supporters of NSA is that the designation will bring more jobs. The hotels, restaurants, gas stations, resorts, and shops are built and staffed - they handle nearly 4 million people who visit Sedona each year. There is no evidence or documentation stating that there will be an increase in visitors, thus increasing jobs.

The concerns of the community continue to go unnoticed by the vocal few. The community has come together and spoken with regard to their wants and needs in the form of Amendment 12. The NSA designation is an additional congressional overlay that brings enormous legal precedent with tremendous unintended consequences. This is why your Sedona Verde Valley Board of Directors appropriated Issues and Mobilization funds from AAR to send Holly to Washington to give another view point for the subcommittee.

If you have any questions regarding the NSA, please don’t hesitate to contact me at
carolanne@adobegr.com, or Ron Volkman at rvolkman@hotmail.com.

Friday, June 25, 2010

By: G. M. Filisko
Published 2010-03-29 09:35:07
Whether you’re buying or selling, it’s important to choose representation that meets your needs in the transaction.

When it comes to representation in a real estate transaction, there are several options available.


You have choices when selecting representation in a real estate transaction. Here are five tips for understanding which type of legal relationship with a real estate professional, called an agency relationship, will best protect you when you buy or sell a home.

1. Buyer’s agency:
When you’re buying a home, you can hire an agent who represents only you, called an exclusive buyer’s representative or agent. A buyer’s agent works in your best interest and owes you a fiduciary duty. You can pay your buyer’s agent yourself, or ask the seller, or the seller’s agent, to pay your agent a share of their sales commission.
If you’re selling your home and hiring an agent to list it exclusively, you’ve hired a selling representative—an agent who owes fiduciary duties to you. Typically, you pay a selling agent a commission at closing. Selling agents usually offer or agree to pay a portion of their sales commission to the buyer’s agent. If your seller’s agent brings in a buyer, your agent keeps the entire commission.


2. Subagency:
When you purchase a home, the agent you can opt to work with may not be your agent at all, but instead may be a subagent of the seller. In general, a subagent represents and acts in the best interest of the sellers and sellers’ agent.
If your agent is acting as a subagent, you can expect to be treated honestly, but the subagent owes loyalty to the sellers and their agent and can’t put your interests above those of the sellers. In a few states, agents aren’t permitted to act as subagents.Never tell a subagent anything you don’t want the sellers to know. Maybe you offered $150,000 for a home but are willing to go up to $160,000. That’s the type of information subagents would be required to pass on to their clients, the sellers.


3. Disclosed dual agency:
In many states, agents and companies can represent both parties in a home sale as long as that relationship is fully disclosed. It’s called disclosed dual agency. Because dual agents represent both parties, they can’t be protective of and loyal to only you. Dual agents don’t owe all the traditional fiduciary duties to clients. Instead, they owe limited fiduciary duties to each party.Why would you agree to dual agency? Suppose you want to buy a house that’s listed for sale by the same real estate brokerage where your buyer’s agent works. In that case, the real estate brokerage would be representing both you and the seller and you’d both have to agree to that.Because there’s a potential for conflicts of interest with dual agency, all parties must give their informed consent. In many states, that consent must be in writing.

4. Designated agency:
A form of disclosed dual agency, “designated agency” allows two different agents within a single firm to represent the buyer and seller in the same transaction. To avoid conflicts that can arise with dual agency, some managing brokers designate or appoint agents in their company to represent only sellers, or only buyers. But that isn’t required for designated agency. A designated, or appointed, agent will give you full representation and represent your best interests.

5. Nonagency relationship:
In some states, you can choose not to be represented by an agent. That’s referred to as nonagency or working with a transaction broker or facilitator. In general, in nonagency representation, the real estate professional you work with owes you fewer duties than a traditional agency relationship. And those duties vary from state to state. Ask the person you’re working with to explain what he or she will and won’t do for you.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

7 Steps to Take Before You Buy a Home

By: G. M. Filisko
Published 2010-02-10 11:24:53
By doing your homework before you buy, you’ll feel more content about your new home.


Follow these steps to ensure your home search is fun and productive.
Most potential homebuyers are a smidge daunted by the fact that they’re about to agree to a hefty mortgage that they’ll be paying for the next few decades. The best way to relieve that anxiety is to be confident you’re purchasing the best home at a price you can afford with the most favorable financing. These seven steps will help you make smart decisions about your biggest purchase.

1. Decide how much home you can afford
Generally, you can afford a home priced 2 to 3 times your gross income. Remember to consider costs every homeowner must cover: property taxes, insurance, maintenance, utilities, and community association fees, if applicable, as well as costs specific to your family, such as day care if you plan to have children.

2. Develop your home wish list
Be honest about which features you must have and which you’d like to have. Handicap accessibility for an aging parent or special needs child is a must. Granite countertops and stainless steel appliances are in the bonus category. Come up with your top-five must-haves and top-five wants to help you focus your search and make a logical, rather than emotional, choice when home shopping.

3. Select where you want to live
Make a list of your top-five community priorities, such as commute time, schools, and recreational facilities. Ask your REALTOR® to help you identify three to four target neighborhoods based on your priorities.

4. Start saving
Have you saved enough money to qualify for a mortgage and cover your downpayment? Ideally, you should have 20% of the purchase price set aside for a downpayment, but some lenders allow as little as 5% down. A small downpayment preserves your savings for emergencies. However, the lower your downpayment, the higher the loan amount you’ll need to qualify for, and if you still qualify, the higher your monthly payment. Your downpayment size can also influence your interest rate and the type of loan you can get. Finally, if your downpayment is less than 20%, you’ll be required to purchase private mortgage insurance. Depending on the size of your loan, PMI can add hundreds to your monthly payment. Check with your state and local government for mortgage and downpayment assistance programs for first-time buyers.

5. Ask about all the costs before you sign
A downpayment is just one homebuying cost. Your REALTOR® can tell you what other costs buyers commonly pay in your area—including home inspections, attorneys’ fees, and transfer fees of 2% to 7% of the home price. Tally up the extras you’ll also want to buy after you move-in, such as window coverings and patio furniture for your new yard.

6. Get your credit in order
A credit report details your borrowing history, including any late payments and bad debts, and typically includes a credit score. Lenders lean heavily on your credit report and credit score in determining whether, how much, and at what interest rate to lend for a home. Most require a minimum credit score of 620 for a home mortgage. You’re entitled to
free copies of your credit reports annually from the major credit bureaus: Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. Order and then pore over them to ensure the information is accurate, and try to correct any errors before you buy. If your credit score isn’t up to snuff, the easiest ways to improve it are to pay every bill on time and pay down high credit card debt.

7. Get prequalified
Meet with a lender to get a prequalification letter that says how much house you’re qualified to buy. Start gathering the paperwork your lender says it needs. Most want to see W-2 forms verifying your employment and income, copies of pay stubs, and two to four months of banking statements. If you’re self-employed, you’ll need your current profit and loss statement, a current balance sheet, and personal and business income tax returns for the previous two years. Consider your financing options. The longer the loan, the smaller your monthly payment. Fixed-rate mortgages offer payment certainty; an adjustable-rate mortgage offers a lower monthly payment. However, an adjustable-rate mortgage may adjust dramatically. Be sure to calculate your affordability at both the lowest and highest possible ARM rate.

Monday, June 21, 2010

A real man is a woman's best friend.
He will never stand her up and he will never let her down.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.
He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.
He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.
He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible woman who ever existed.

No, wait... sorry... I'm thinking of wine. Never mind.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

This is my friend Mo's college term paper. Mo is one of the premiere title officers in Arizona, a good friend and client. Reprinted with permission.





Tips for Buying and Selling Real Estate in Arizona[1]
Maureen M. Stadelman
COM/150
June 5, 2010

Tips for Buying and Selling Real Estate in Arizona

According to the 2008 United States census, "67.8% of the respondents were homeowners." (U.S. Census Bureau, 2009). Meaning that almost three quarters of the population had been through the process of buying a home as of 2009 census. The process that they underwent is described in the following paragraphs. Buying and selling real estate are two of the most substantial undertakings that a person can experience in his or her lifetime. For many, it is the largest monetary transaction they will ever make in their lives. Most people do not realize the emotional impact that can be a part of a real estate transaction. According to Perkins (2006), "As you approach the prospects of buying your next home or investment property or selling either, for that matter, keep in mind that you're about to go through a Grand Canyon of emotional ups and downs."
These emotional ups and downs attached to ownership, or the desire for ownership of property can sometimes bring undesirable results during the purchasing or selling process. Knowing that real estate transactions can be an expensive and emotional experience; education on the process can make the transaction go smoothly, because knowing what to expect can prevent problems.

The biggest fears that a buyer has is the ability to pay for the property, maintain the property and if the property will fit the buyer's needs. Emotionally, the buyer desires security and an environment in which they can create their own memories. Meanwhile, the seller's fear is if the sale of the property will be a good return on the money invested in the property. For many the emotional impact of selling the home is the disruption of daily routines, the thought of strangers judging the home, and the feeling of loss of memories created.

When starting the buying process, it is important to find knowledgeable professionals who will assist you in navigating your transaction. For buyers, the first step is to visit a lender or mortgage broker and obtain a pre-qualification determination. The pre-qualification determination will tell the buyer; 1) if they can obtain financing and 2) how much they can borrow. The next step for the buyer is to find and narrow down the neighborhoods that they want to live in. Then find a REALTOR® familiar with areas of interest to the buyer. The buyer should interview several REALTORS® in order to determine which one the buyer will feel the most comfortable working with.

For sellers the process is much the same. Sellers should start by finding a REALTOR® who is knowledgeable about the area in which the seller's home is located. The REALTOR® will provide the seller with data about sales of comparative homes in the area. Called a CMA in Arizona this stands for Comparative Market Analysis. CMAs are tools used by Realtors to determine the value of homes and is the same method used by Appraisers in most cases. A CMA contains information about properties recently sold and properties still on the market. The list of properties on the CMA will include the following information about each; age of the property, livable square footage of home, number of bedrooms and bathrooms, square footage of land, length of time on the market, original listing price, and final sales price.
Good REALTORS® are familiar with the features of the homes in the areas they specialize in and should be able to provide the seller with the details of homes the seller's home will be competing against. In other words, comparing apples with apples. At this point that the seller and REALTOR® can come up with a realistic listing price for the property.

The next step the majority of buyers and sellers fail to do is study the documents they will be required to sign. Both buyer and seller should read the standard real estate purchase contract and standard listing agreement forms and become familiar with the terms. In addition, anything contained in these documents the buyer or seller does not understand should be brought to the attention of the Realtor. The Realtor can explain the terms and provide examples to help the buyer and seller understand the meaning and implications. This step should be taken before the buyer starts looking at homes to buy and before the seller agrees to list their home for sale with a REALTOR®.

Buyers should now be ready to narrow down the features that they are looking for in a home. Features most commonly included are; number of bedrooms and bathrooms, size of the home, and size of land. Additional features can further narrow search results such as architecture style, amount of parking, types of utilities installed, yard features, type of view, etc.

The REALTOR® will search the MLS (Multiple Listing Service) data base for properties meeting the required features and provide the buyer with a list of homes matching the search criteria. The buyer then chooses which homes to view in person. The REALTOR® makes appointments for
"showings" of the homes contained in the list compiled from the MLS data base. The Buyer, accompanied by the REALTOR® then visits each home on the list to determine if the Buyer is interested in purchasing the home.
This can be a complicated process and is usually where the emotional aspect of buying a home begins to take form. "How can you ignore those feelings of elation when you walk into a home that you love, the rush of adrenaline and the excitement you feel…and the fact that you can imagine yourself living there?" (Hegedus-Garcia, 2009)

When the buyer has made a decision to purchase a home it is time to write an offer. The offer is typically written by a REALTOR® on the standard purchase contract forms. The purchase contract contains the terms and conditions of the offer the buyer hopes the seller will accept. This form addresses sales price; down payment being made; amount of financing that the buyer will be obtaining; addresses who will be responsible for various fees; and sets the timelines for inspections and close of escrow date. While the buyer waits with bated breath the offer is presented to the seller for review.
The seller can do one of three things with the offer; accept it, reject it or change it. More often than not, the seller will change it. When the seller initiates a change of terms it is called a counter offer. The buyer and seller are now involved in the ritual of negotiation with counter offers going back and forth across between them. For some buyers and sellers this can be a stressful and emotional exercise. The buyer is about to make a large financial and emotional investment. The seller may have expectations that have to be met. With compromise and sensible advice from the REALTORS®, the buyer and seller will reach a mutual agreement beginning the final process of the transaction.

The final process of the transaction begins when the REALTOR® "opens escrow" at the title company. Meaning that the signed purchase contract, all addendums and the earnest money are taken to an escrow officer. The escrow officer acts as a "disinterested third party," meaning that the escrow officer is a neutral party to the transaction. The role of the escrow officer is to interpret the terms and conditions of the purchase contract, prepare the legal documents for the transfer of the property, and hold all money involved in the transaction in an escrow account. The money in the escrow account can only be disbursed by the escrow officer when all terms and conditions have been met and the buyer and seller are ready to close escrow. This sounds pretty easy, doesn't it?

Unfortunately, the time period between opening the escrow and closing the escrow can be most stressful for both the buyer and seller. Time lines have to be met for inspections and repairs. It is possible to have unexpected delays. The buyers and sellers need to make moving arrangements and at the same time work full-time jobs and care for children. In addition some of the language used in a real estate transaction is not familiar to the average layperson, making the process more confusing.
This stress can lead to feelings of regret for both the buyer and seller. If the seller performs any action to stop the property from closing escrow the action is usually termed "seller's remorse." Buyers initiating an action to stop the close of escrow is usually called "backing out." Either way these actions are usually considered a breach of contract. Simply put, a breach of contract is: when an individual does not perform the actions that the individual previously had agreed to perform. If one of the parties breaches the contract the result could be that the other party has a right to sue for non-performance of the written contract. Typically, mediation is encouraged first to allow the parties a chance to work out the problems and come to a mutual agreement on how to proceed. Should that fail, litigation may be the next step.

Some escrow officers have been known to describe their jobs as helping individuals achieve the American dream; the dream of owning a home. This description makes the job seem glamorous. In reality by the time escrow is ready to close many buyers and sellers have been exposed to so many positive and negative emotional experiences that they are completely frustrated. Typically, the buyers and sellers who became frustrated had no concept of the magnitude of what they were about to undertake. My conclusion is that anyone wanting to achieve the American dream should be prepared for the journey. Educating oneself in the processes involved in buying and selling property could result in a less frustrating experience. Do your research, acknowledge what your financial and emotional limitations are, and ask many questions of the professionals who will be guiding you along the way. One of the greatest clichés ever is: "There is no such thing as a stupid question."




References

Hegedus-Garcia, I. (2009, October 28). Emotions in real estate. Retrieved from http://www.miamism.com/real-estate-emotions/
Perkins, B. (2006, March 3). Hold emotions at bay during real estate transaction. Retrieved from http://realtytimes.com/rtpages/20060303_emotions.htm
U.S. Census Bureau. (2009, December 17). Homeownership rates by state. Retrieved from http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2010/tables/10s0958.pdf
[1] The use of the word "Arizona" in the title is for clarification purposes only. The information contained in this essay is based on the writer's working knowledge of Arizona real estate law and procedure. Real estate laws and procedures differ from state to state.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

By AMY HOAK
The next few weeks are crucial for home buyers who need to close on a house before the end of June to claim the federal home-buyer tax credit. A hiccup during the next month could cost a buyer thousands of dollars.
"If for some unforeseen reason you end up closing on July 1, you lose out on the tax credit," says John T. Walsh, president of Total Mortgage Services in Milford, Conn.
Wesley Bedrosian
To qualify for the credit of up to $8,000 for first-time buyers and $6,500 for some repeat buyers, the contract had to be in place by April 30. Eligible buyers now need to close on that contract by June 30.
That two-month window is closing rapidly. There's now just a month left to wrap things up and while that may seem like a long time, it's not.
"Any number of delays could push it past June 30. It's not uncommon for purchases to take 75 to 90 days to settle," says Timothy M. Dwyer, president of title-insurance company Entitle Direct.
Delays often happen due to issues with approving the buyer's mortgage, but problems on the seller's side may also create a holdup. To minimize surprises, buyers should schedule the closing at least a week before the deadline, experts say, and keep the lines of communication open with all professionals working to get the sale finalized. Make sure everyone involved knows there's a tax credit at stake, so all parties understand that time is of the essence.
Also, keep in mind that in recent weeks lower mortgage rates created somewhat of a "mini refinance boom," Mr. Walsh says.
Loans for borrowers who qualify for the tax credit are generally taking priority over other mortgage applications, he says. But with a large volume of loans moving through the pipeline, it's likely that any mortgage will take longer to process—and potentially delay a closing.
But don't panic. Below are tips to make sure you get to the closing table on time.
Stay on top of things: Just because you're pre-approved for a mortgage doesn't mean you're guaranteed to get the loan, Mr. Dwyer says. It's only an indication that the bank—based on your basic financial information, the value of the home and the size of the loan—would likely fund a loan of that type, he says. There are a lot of steps before you get the green light, and often there is extra documentation required from the borrower at crunch time.
"Get all the information to the lender as quickly as possible," Mr. Dwyer says.
Joseph W. Rand, a real-estate associate broker in New City, N.Y., says take the initiative: Ask the lender or broker what they anticipate needing, based on their experience with past loans. That way, you're prepared to turn in whatever is needed just as soon as you're asked for it.
Some requests might not be obvious, including copies of pay stubs from a former employer if you recently switched jobs or a letter from a creditor to ensure you paid a debt in question, he says.
"The general idea is to sit down with the lender or give a call and say: 'What conceivably might you need from me in the next month to get this thing cleared to close?'" Mr. Rand says.
Make sure to follow up with the lender periodically as you head toward the closing date, Mr. Dwyer says.
And don't forget about the other supporting characters in the closing process: Depending on local custom, that could be a real-estate attorney, escrow agent or settlement agent. Be in contact with them, or make sure your real-estate agent is, to ensure everything is running smoothly.
Keep the seller on track, too: Sellers also have tasks to complete prior to closing, but they don't have the financial incentives buyers do to get the deal closed before the tax-credit deadline. So make sure the seller understands the urgency in getting necessary tasks completed.
Typical delay-causing events on the seller's side could include title problems or certificate-of-occupancy issues, Mr. Rand says. Buyers who are having an attorney review the title report should ask the lawyer to look at it as soon as possible after receiving it.
"They need to make sure there's nothing that might delay the closing," he says.
Some of the biggest issues will be property violations, he says, examples of which could include noncompliance with zoning codes or building permits that were never closed when work was done on the house.
Remember, too, that if the seller can't move before June 30, that doesn't necessarily prevent the closing from happening before that date. After the sale is finalized, the buyer can lease back the home to the seller for a short period of time, Mr. Dwyer says.
"Close the transaction in June and allow the seller to live in the house for a couple of weeks. Everyone wins," he says.
Just don't forget to put that temporary rental agreement in writing.
Create a time buffer: Above all, schedule the closing far enough before the deadline so that if there are delays, you can deal with them and still close on time.
"Don't schedule it for June 29," Mr. Dwyer says. He suggests scheduling a closing for June 21 at the latest.
Mr. Walsh agrees, suggesting even a two-week time buffer if possible, just in case.
"It's going to be crunch time at the end of June. I would suspect that there will be people who aren't going to close on June 30 who have every intention of closing on June 30," he says. "Prepare in advance, just in case there is a hiccup."
Write to Amy Hoak at
amy.hoak@dowjones.com

Monday, June 14, 2010

Clutching their Kohl's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit - no flies, no smell.
"What business could that poor kitty have had here?" murmured Ellen. "Come on, Ellen, let's just go." But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining, "I'll just put my things in your bag, and then I'll use this tissue."
She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her own Kohl's bag and cover it.They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk.
It occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon lose that new-car smell. They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to Lucy's Cafeteria.
They went through the serving line and sat down at a window table. They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's bag still on the trunk. Not for long!
As they ate, they noticed a woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car. She looked quickly this way and that, and then took the Kohl's bag without breaking stride. She quickly walked out of their line of vision. Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement. It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond. "Can you imagine?" finally sputtered Ellen. "The nerve of that woman!" Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise awaiting the female thief.
Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line. Following her gaze, Kay recognized the woman in the red gingham shirt with the Kohl's bag hanging from her arm. She was brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier. Helplessly they watched the scene unfold. After leaving the register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat.
After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her rapt audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag.
Her eyes widened and she began to make a sort of gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver.
A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived. In a matter of minutes, the woman with the red gingham shirt emerged from the crowd, still gasping, and securely strapped on a gurney. Two well-trained EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her belongings. The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared behind the ambulance doors - the Kohl's Bag perched on her stomach.
Karma is a wonderful thing, no?
http://eventful.com/cottonwood/events

Sunday, June 13, 2010

I wonder if all of these groups have also boycotted the United States Federal Government, since it was their law in the first place?

Cities that have approved boycotts of Arizona:
• Austin.
• Berkeley, Calif.
• Bloomington, Ind.
• Boston.
• Boulder, Colo.
• Columbus, Ohio.
• Cook County, Ill.
• El Paso (city and county).
• Gallup, N.M.
• Hartford, Conn.
• Los Angeles (city and county).
• Oakland.
• Richmond, Calif.
• San Pablo, Calif.
• St. Paul, Minn.
• Santa Monica, Calif.
• San Francisco (non-binding resolution).
• Seattle.
• West Hollywood, Calif.

Groups that announced travel boycotts of Arizona:
• Service Employees International Union.
• United Food and Commercial Workers International Union.
• National Council of La Raza.
• Asian American Justice Center.
• Center for Community Change.
• League of United Latin American Citizens.
• National Puerto Rican Coalition.
• Leadership
• American Educational Research Assn.
• World Boxing Council.
• Sociologists Without Borders.
• L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center.
• NAFSA: Association of International Educators (formerly National Assn. of Foreign Student Advisers).
• Law and Society Association.

Known cancellations of meetings or events planned in Arizona:
• National Minority Suppliers Development Council Inc. is moving its fall Phoenix convention to Florida. Seven thousand were expected to attend.
• Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc., the oldest African American Greek-lettered fraternity, canceled a July conference at the Sheraton Phoenix Downtown Hotel. Five thousand were expected to attend. Convention moved to Las Vegas.
• American Immigration Lawyers Association canceled its fall conference at the Camelback Inn in Paradise Valley.
• National Urban League. The group issued a rebuke of the city and suspended consideration of Phoenix's bid to host its 2012 annual conference.
• National Autonomous University of Mexico has canceled its exchange program with the University of Arizona.
• Autonomous University of San Luis Potosí has canceled its exchange program with the University of Arizona.
• Club América, one of Mexico's biggest soccer teams, canceled its exhibition match against Club de Fútbol Pachuca scheduled for July 7 at University of Phoenix Stadium.
• Representatives of the Mexican state of Sonora announced they would not attend the annual meeting of the Sonora-Arizona Commission, June 3-4 in Phoenix.
• Mexico's six border governors announced they would boycott the 28th annual U.S.-Mexico Border Governors Conference if it is held as scheduled in Phoenix in September.
• In the Chicago area, the Highland Park High School girls varsity basketball team canceled a trip to play in a basketball tournament, citing "safety concerns" related to the new law. • Glass Art Society, of Seattle, canceled its 2011 conference in Tucson.
• National Urban League canceled its 2012 conference in Phoenix.
• The Los Lobos musical group canceled a June 10 performance at Talking Stock Resort in Scottsdale.
• Musicians Daryl Hall and John Oates canceled postgame concert scheduled July 3 at Chase Field.
Public bodies that announced Arizona boycotts:

• Denver Public Schools banned work-related travel to the state.
• Milwaukee Area Technical College Board directed staff May 25 to refrain from buying goods from any Arizona-based company and from sending employees to meetings or conferences in Arizona.

Supporters organizing events or buycotts because of backlash from Arizona's immigration law:
• Tea Patriots Live is planning a rally from 4-7 p.m. Saturday in support of the state of Arizona, SB 1070 and the enforcement of existing border and immigration laws. The event is planned for Wesley Bolin Memorial Plaza, 1649 W. Adams St., Phoenix, across from the Arizona Capitol.
Other actions for and against: • Brownsville, Texas, City Commission on May 18 unanimously voted to condemn the law.
• Coachella, Calif., City Council on May 18 voted 5-0 to condemn the law.
• Costa Mesa, Calif., City Council voted unanimously to declare itself a "rule of law city" where illegal immigrants are not welcome.
• Fulton County, Ga., Board of Commissioners voted May 19 to oppose Arizona's law.
• Hudspeth County, Texas, commissioners voted 2-1 May 11 to adopt a resolution supporting Arizona's new immigration law.
• Mexico's Foreign Ministry in late April warned Mexicans traveling to Arizona to be aware that they could be "bothered and questioned for no other reason at any moment."
• Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak on April 30 urged city employees not to travel to Arizona.
• City of Pasadena on May 18 approved resolution condemning Arizona's immigration law.
• San Diego City Council on May 3 urged Arizona to repeal the law.
• Santa Ana, Calif., City Council has condemned the law.
• Tacoma City Council on May 25 approved resolution condemning Arizona's law as encouraging racial profiling and dropped earlier language that called for a city boycott on business and travel to Arizona.
• Valley resident Brett Scott is posting a list of cities, groups and other entities boycotting Arizona at
AZfightsback.com to encourage counterboycotts.
• League of United Latin American Citizens urged companies such as Frito-Lay not to sponsor Arizona sporting events, such as the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl in Glendale.
• American Anthropological Association condemned SB 1070 and refuses to have meetings in Arizona until law the is repealed or struck down.
• Sound Strike is a movement launched online to organize artists to boycott Arizona. It is being led by Zack de la Rocha of the band Rage Against the Machine. More than a dozen musical groups have signed on, as well as moviemaker Michael Moore.
• The AFL-CIO has condemned the law, claiming it could lead to racial profiling and could undermine worker rights by discouraging Latinos from filing complaints.
• Consortium of Professional and Academic Associations condemns Arizona's immigration law and HB 2281 that prohibits ethnic studies. The consortium consists of 13 group, including Association of Asian American Studies, Chicano/Latino Faculty and Staff Association, and Native American and Indigenous Studies Association.
• Council of the City of New York and other city immigration and civil-rights advocates denounced the law on April 29.
• American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee condemned the law on April 24.
• Major League Baseball Players Association called for repeal of the law, saying it could have a negative effect on hundreds of baseball players who are citizens of other countries.
• Roger Dow, president and CEO of the U.S. Travel Association, on April 30 called for an end to Arizona travel boycotts and urged Washington lawmakers to address immigration.
• La Opinion, the country's largest Spanish-language newspaper, on April 26 urged a boycott of all goods and services from Arizona and avoidance of tourism-related travel to the state.
• The San Jose (Calif.) City Council on June 8 approved, by a 9-2 vote, a symbolic measure that condemns its neighboring state, rather than a harsher economic boycott. The measure includes a denunciation of the Arizona law, a prohibition on business trips by city employees to the state and support for legal challenges filed by other individuals or groups.
• A Chicago City Council 46-3 vote on June 9 endorses a resolution urging City Hall not to do business in the future with Arizona firms, but does not prohibit it.
• Greater Bloomington (Ind.) Chamber of Commerce reported that the city's boycott of Arizona has prompted more than 40 complaints to the chamber, mostly threats to boycott Bloomington unless the Arizona boycott is lifted, the chamber said.
• The Durham, N.C., Human Relations Commission lobbied June 10 for the City Council to pass a resolution that would ban business and travel with Arizona.
• National Association of Single People, an association of almost 10,000 members based in Newport Beach, Calif., announced a convention boycott of Los Angeles and reported it was exploring sites in Chandler and Sedona at which to hold its 2011 regional conference and 2012 annual conference.

Friday, June 11, 2010

The Worst of Humanity: It’s in the Comments Section
by
Melissa del Bosque


Share Published on: Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Some days writing about our southern border really gets me down. Not because I have to read about everything that’s happening out there (at least I try to). The problem is the comments on the stories. I always tell myself I won’t read them, yet I always do … and this is where my heart just sinks.
What in the hell is wrong with people? This was my thought last night (well, at least one of the thoughts that can be printed) as I read an Associated Press
story about the 15-year old boy from Juarez shot and killed Monday under an international bridge by a Border Patrol agent. The AP story had 2,197 comments last night almost all of them sick, hateful, racist and downright disturbing. Here’s the very first comment from a guy called Jonah:
"Hey, Border Patrol. Keep up the good work. You're doing America a great service by keeping these@#$%roaches out of this Once-great nation. This should also be added to immigration reform: shoot illegals first then ask questions later. Simple and plain."
I always wonder what these people are like in their day-to-day lives? In his spare time Jonah likes to wear a pointy white pillowcase on his head (with large eye holes mind you, so he can see his computer screen) and refer to human beings online as “cockroaches that should be killed.” But hey, he’s a great dad and coaches Little League on the weekend.
Here’s another one:
"No sympathy for a 14 year old who acts like an adult criminal viciously assaulting American law enforcement. This is the beginning of the mexican crime spilling into OUR country. This violent gang member, drug dealing, B A S T A R D deserved to die."
The second commenter like most of the commenters I suspect, didn’t even read the story. This is especially disheartening for journalists. (Not only did they not read the story, now they are going to leave some poisonous comment that has nothing to do with your story.) At least I hope that’s the case, otherwise this person is just delusional. The kid allegedly threw rocks at the Border Patrol officer. And we won’t even be sure he threw rocks until the FBI concludes its investigation. (if he did, does that offense deserve death?) Plus, he was shot and killed on Mexican soil. I didn’t see any reference in the article to the boy being a drug dealer, a violent gang member or a bastard for that matter. Plus, the commenter is saying that a 15-year-old boy deserved to die?!
The immigration stories are the worst. Nothing makes these online bigots more rabid and xenophobic than the notion of “illegal immigrants.” In their eyes, there is no punishment severe enough for “the illegals.” Forget BP, forget Goldman Sachs and our corrupted financial market – all of it is the illegals fault. “WHAT PART OF ‘ILLEGAL’ DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?” They like to write in their hate-filled comments. (Do they not understand that block letters mean they are YELLING at everyone, or is their eyesight just bad?)
I think the turning point for me was last summer when we had the flu outbreak that originated in Mexico. A commenter in a Houston Chronicle story said he hoped that “the flu killed all of the Mexican children.”
The comment just floored me. How can people so disassociate themselves from humanity that they can advocate for the deaths of children, and other commenters encourage this kind of hate-filled diatribe online?
I’m an advocate for free speech. But these hate-filled comments truly make me want to take a rain check on humanity. I was raised to believe that America was a country that encouraged tolerance and racial inclusion. Something like what happened in Germany could never happen here. I tend to think that bloggers over-step the line when they refer to Nazi Germany. So I never do. But in this case—when people are advocating for the deaths of an entire nationality and their children—I don’t think the analogy is off base.
Intolerance, ignorance and racism are alive and well in the good ‘ol USA, folks. If you don’t believe me, just read the comments section.
Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile...
1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream..
2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water....
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air....
4. No one knows your secret place....
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world....
6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air with a cascade of serenity....
7. The water is so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
There!! See? It really does work... You're smiling already.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Escrow 101: Foreclosure and Short Sale Terminology Explained
Posted by CV Escrow on April 29th, 2010
Short sales and foreclosures are the current hot topic in real estate with many of these types of transactions coming across the Escrow Officers desk. Foreclosures and short sales are often confused but they are two distinct processes supported by their own individual terminology. Following is a summary of many of the most common terms that a buyer and seller will experience in purchasing/selling either a foreclosure or short sale property.
Foreclosures
Pre-foreclosure: The period beginning with initial mortgage default up to when the distressed property is sold
Notice of Default (NOD): official notice from the lender that the Borrower has defaulted. The NOD formally starts the foreclosure process and it outlines the reinstatement period.
Reinstatement Period: The time frame stipulated in the NOD that the borrower has to reinstate the loan by making payments and bringing account back to good standing.
Trustee Sale: if after the reinstatement period has expired the loan is still in default the lender can then sell the property as soon as 21 days after the Notice of Trustee Sale is recorded.
Publication Period: begins once the redemption period has expired and must be at least 21 Days prior to trustee Sale. A notice is published once a week for three weeks in the local newspaper.
Notice of Trustee Sale (NTS): Recorded document explaining when and where the foreclose sale will be held.
Redemption Period: The time period that the distressed borrower has to redeem the loan after the NOD is recorded. In California, that time period is 90 days. (not to be confused with statutory right of redemption)
Statutory Right of Redemption: One year after the Trustee Sale the borrower can make payment of loan in full plus costs to redeem.
Real Estate Owned (REO): the status of the property when the ownership is transferred involuntarily from the homeowner to the bank.
Short Sales
Short Sale: When a lender agrees to accept less then what is owed on the mortgage and release its lien on the property.
The Property is “upside down”: This phrase is commonly used to describe a situation where the amount due on the existing loan is higher than what the property is appraised for or will sell for.
Loss Mitigation Department: The department at the lender that is responsible for reviewing all short sale documentation, ordering a BPO, and approving or denying short sale.
BPO: Brokers Price Opinion (BPO), typically ordered by lender, is a property valuation report to help determine what the property might sell for.
This list of terms serves as a foundation for future posts where we will further describe the process of a foreclosure and short sale as well as compare and contrast the differences between the two. Stay tuned!
Interested in what you are reading? To automatically receive these
Escrow Tips in your email box, subscribe to these articles at the top right corner of this site (www.CoachellaValleyEscrow.com) in the box titled “Subscribe via Email

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Pedestrian-friendly neighborhoods within walking distance of schools, parks, and businesses may be more valuable than similar homes built where residents must drive to those amenities, according to a study by CEOs for Cities, a national network of civic, business, academic, and philanthropic leaders working to improve cities.

The group analyzed data from 94,000 real estate transactions in 15 major markets and found that in 13 of the 15 markets, neighborhoods that were more walkable had higher home values.

Walkability was based on a “Walk Score” rating of how close homes were to amenities such as restaurants, coffee shops, schools, parks, stores, and libraries. The group used the Walk Score to compare home values in neighborhoods that were different distances from amenities, but shared the same characteristics, including average homeowner income, home size, and home age.


A mix of common daily shopping and social destinations within a short distance added from $4,000 to $34,000 to home values, according to findings in the study, “Walking the Walk.”

The gains were larger in denser, urban areas like Chicago and San Francisco and smaller in less dense markets such as Tucson and Fresno.

What makes a community walkable?
Dan Burden, founder of Walkable Communities, has developed a 12-step checklist for defining, achieving, or strengthening a walkable community. Among the items on his list: a welcoming public space where people can gather and socialize, speed-controlled key streets, pedestrian-centric design, and a town center with a wide variety of shops and businesses.

Examples of walkable communities include Bethesda, Md.; Jackson, Wyo.; Madison, Wis.; and Savannah, Ga.

Safety and walkability
Although you can’t physically move your neighborhood closer to amenities, there are things you can do to raise its walkability factor.

Safety is a big concern for those on foot. To address safety concerns in Castle Hills, a walkable community outside Dallas, the developer built wider sidewalks, reduced speed limits, and installed solar-powered speed signs.

In Atlanta, a pedestrian safety advocacy group, PEDS, convinced 6,000 households to put up yard signs encouraging drivers to slow down, trained police officers on pedestrian safety law enforcement, encouraged local governments to use in-street crosswalk signs, and worked with the government to authorize red-light cameras to increase safety.

Improving walkability
In addition to making safety improvements, you can also try these tips for improving walkability from John Wetmore, producer of Perils For Pedestrians Television:

Trim shrubbery that’s blocking the sidewalk in front of your house.
Pick up trash and litter to make it a more pleasant place.
Support initiatives in your town to build new sidewalks and repair existing sidewalks.
Be polite to other drivers and pedestrians when you drive.
Set an example by walking more by yourself or with your family.
Walkability programs
A relatively low-cost way to get people walking in your neighborhood is to organize walk-to-school or walk-to-work events. International Walk to School in the USA offers a good planning guide with ideas for events that you can plan in as few as seven days.

Walk-to-work programs, such as those supported by the American Heart Association, use incentives and tools, such as pedometers, to encourage employees to forgo their cars and walk to work.

Some programs strive to make walking fun. Walk Arlington, an initiative of Arlington County, Va., holds scavenger hunts and sponsors senior adult walking clubs.

As you think about improving walkability in your current neighborhood or moving to a place with a higher walkability score, remember that the health and social benefits are plentiful and the payoff for home value is long lasting.

Sacha Cohen is a Washington, D.C.-based writer and founder of DCGoingGreen.net and grassfed media. She has written about sustainable travel, green buildings, and green communities for such outlets as The Washington Post and Planet Green.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The top 10 short sale myths:

Myth 1: Arizona is a non-recourse state.
While there are laws that protect the homeowner from deficiency in a foreclosure or deed-in-lieu, these laws do not apply in a short sale. Only an experienced real estate attorney, after reviewing all loan documents, deeds-of-trust and short sale documents can properly ascertain that liability. As a Realtor you should NEVER give advice as to the homeowner's potential for deficiency liability. Even if that advice is technically correct, some lenders may file lawsuits regardless of the merits of the case, knowing that a certain percentage of borrowers will pay just to avoid going to court. Additionally, homeowners will often make incorrect statements as to the nature of their loans. Currently, we find about 60% of our clients are incorrect as to the nature of their loans which affects the potential for anti-deficiency protection. If a borrower is sued by their lender, there is a reasonable chance they will file a suit against the Realtor that handled the short sale. These suits can be difficult to defend, even if the Realtor made no representations as to the homeowners potential liability resulting from a short sale. For more information on deficiency liability read our article and blog on this subject.

Myth 2: Referring a homeowner to an attorney removes the liability from the Realtor.

If that homeowner does not retain the attorney, the protection for the Realtor is limited. Referring a homeowner to an attorney that represents the Realtor's company can also leave a disgruntled seller with a legitimate complaint relating to who was being represented by the attorney and the fact that the attorney had a conflict of interest. A written legal opinion as to the homeowner's potential for a deficiency lawsuit from a qualified, independent attorney provides the Realtor the most protection against a lawsuit arising from deficiency issues.

Myth 3: Realtors are protected by E&O insurance against lawsuits as a result of a short sale.

Many insurance providers require a rider for E&O coverage of short sales. Some designated brokers have elected not to provide this rider. Check with your designated broker to ensure you are covered.

Myth 4: Lenders lose more on foreclosures than short sales.

Since the lender may be protected by mortgage insurance or may have sold a loan into pools, the investor may receive more sales proceeds through a foreclosure at a lower sale price than through a short sale. In a foreclosure, the senior note holder (investor) gets paid before junior tranch holders are paid. This could result in a better payout for the senior note holder as a result of foreclosure (the senior note holder carries the majority vote on decisions related to this loan). Lenders also use NPV (Net Present Value) calculations to determine their best option. This takes into consideration many factors that consider the econimic interests only of the lender/investor. Hence, the reason that lenders/investors will sometimes make decisions to foreclose that seem on the surface not to make sense is often the result of the NPV test.

Myth 5: It is possible to have the lender report a short sale as paid in full as agreed on credit.

Although this has happened in a very few cases last year; the reality is that lawsuits by lenders on the new loans against previous lenders that did not report short sales have quickly put an end to this option. On rare occasions this may be negotiated if a forensic audit turns up a serious violation.

Myth 6: I should advertise myself as a short sale expert.

Although this may look good in advertising, it can quickly backfire on the Realtor. By calling yourself an expert you are held to a higher standard; that of a true "expert". Homeowners can claim they followed the advice of the Realtor because he/she claimed to be an expert and the Realtor will be evaluated at the higher standard of care.

Myth 7: If the borrower receives a 1099, the lender has taken their losses and will not pursue a deficiency judgment.

In the past it was accepted that the 1099 was an indication that the lender had written off the loan losses and would not pursue the borrower. However, lenders have sued borrowers years after that 1099 filing. In a recent appellate case (December 2009) of Amhurst Bank vs. Fossett the lender argued that they only file the 1099 because of federal accounting requirements and it was not releasing the borrower from liability. That court did not make a decision but sent the case down to the lower court to decide. Lenders are working hard in all states to get the rules changed in order to recapture more of their losses.

Myth 8: Once a trustee sale is completed there is no way to reverse it.

It may be possible to unwind a foreclosure after the trustee sale has completed. However, this requires careful analysis of the lender's actions and some proof of wrong doing on the part of the lender.

Myth 9: Borrower must be delinquent to get short sale approval.

We have seen some instances in which a short sale is completed without the borrower going delinquent. However, it is generally the case that lenders will not approve a short sale for a borrower that keeps their payments current. The flip side of this is that it creates more pressure on the Realtor to complete the short sale before the property goes to foreclosure. Usually lenders will extend trustee sale dates to facilitate a pending short sale, but not always. Increasingly, lenders are unwilling to extend short sale dates even with a valid offer pending on government loans.

Myth 10: Anti-deficiency laws do not apply to investment properties.

Although these laws are open for interpretation, the law simply states that the property must be "utilized". There are several cases in which the courts have determined that renting is considered a utilization of the property for purposes of allowing anti-deficiency protection.



Friday, June 4, 2010

Interesting thoughts. I grabbed this one because we graduated our third dog, Zappa, into Trauma Intervention Programs' Trauma Dog program. (That was a bad sentence, but forgive me - that was the best I could come up with.)

By Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP
We hardly need to look at the
research to verify that pets do good things for people physically and emotionally. What is interesting in my work with couples is that although couples may vehemently disagree on most topics, they usually both soften in manner and tone to agree that the dog, cat, bird or horse is great.
In fact, if there is any criticism, it is the verbalized wish to receive the kind of love and attention the pet is getting.
“I only wish she was as affectionate with me as with our dog!”
“You should hear him speak to this animal – he never speaks to me that way.”
What happens between people and their pets that accounts for this emotional outpouring of love?
Most will answer with the responses you have heard or given:
“The dog demands nothing from me – he just gives unconditional love.”
“The cats are a predictable source of comfort and soothing – they want to be near me.”
Pets? Not demanding? Predictable? … Really?
What’s interesting is that most pets are loved in a way that makes us minimize or even deny the reality that they definitely have demands we simply accept. Some will only eat certain food; many wake people in the middle of the night; most get sick on the rug; some eat furniture and a vast majority end up on the bed no matter what anyone says.
In one case, when the dalmatian was found eating the steak that had been marinating on the counter for dinner, the husband’s only reaction was “Might as well give him the vegetables and potatoes, and let him finish off the meal.”
Can we learn something from our relationship with pets that might enhance our relationship with partners?
Yes, if we are willing to take a closer look at ourselves.
The old expression “you get what you give” may apply here. Maybe you give something very positive to your pet that invites the unconditional love and connection that makes you feel so good. Maybe it has potential to enhance your relationship.
Can you credit yourself with any of the following?
Greetings
No matter how you feel or what mood you are in, you greet your pet with a positive, even animated, hello and often with a display of physical affection.
Expectations
With pets, maybe it’s your lack of expectation that makes the difference. You probably rarely predict that your pet will be angry if you are late. As a result, you don’t head home defensively angry in preparation for the reaction you expect to face.
Holding Grudges
When you do return home to find that your cats have redecorated the room with shreds of every tissue they could find or the dog has eaten some of the mail, you may well react with a choice expletive but you are not likely to hold a grudge. You are still going to be petting Donatello or cuddling with Thor the next day.
Assuming the Best
There is a natural tendency to forgive pets their trespasses – after all, the dog wasn’t trying to torture you by eating the mail. Was your partner really trying to torture you by putting it in such a safe spot it can’t be found?
Acceptance
Few pet owners personalize their pets’ reactions to others to an extreme that makes them so embarrassed that they fear their image is tarnished or they become resentful of their pets. The fact that the dog is licking every part of the arriving guest’s body is cause to pull him away or laugh it away. The cat that will not come out of hiding or the parrot that is screeching is left without judgment or excuses. That’s them!
For Better or For Worse
In most cases, pets are home to stay. People love and care for pets of every size, shape and disposition. “She’s not exactly a watch dog; she’s loving but easily frightened.” “He insists on sleeping on the bed – we have given in.” “She steals food from the other dogs, she’s pretty hyper, but cute.” Few pets live with the fear of being betrayed or with the implication that things are just not working out. Of course they don’t – but just consider how the absence of such fears enhances the trust and connection you feel from them!
So think about what you give your pet and maybe how — in addition to improving your health — your pet can improve your relationship!