Thursday, August 9, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Manners
As I careen through my days dealing with humans (and others), sometimes things that they say or do catch my attention, good and bad.
Things that make me go “Hmmmm…………”
I’ve noticed that the world of communication manners is changing. I lay this change at the door of 2 developments: texting, and dealing with the people who are crazybusy dealing with foreclosures and short sales.
I was taught that whenever I communicate, no matter what my point is, that point should follow a warm fuzzy.
Example:
I want to tell a seller that the price that they hope to get for their property is way too high and I won’t take their listing at that price – it needs to be a market value or we’re just wasting everybody’s time.
I send her an email. “Dear Mrs. Seller;
Thank you so much for taking the time to give me a tour of your wonderful home this morning. I greatly enjoyed myself, and your lemon bars are to die for! May I please have your recipe?
I’ve done a Comparative Market Analysis, which compares similar properties’ sales prices, which gives us a very good idea what an appraisal on your house would show.
It is my opinion is that it would sell for $100,000 to $110,000 today. I realize that this is about ¼ the amount that you told me……………..”
2 or 3 more carefully written paragraphs follow, clearly underlining and reiterating what I need for her to understand.
So that’s how I operate. I’m noticing, however, that people often open an email, read the first line, and respond.
So I get “Hey, Carol Anne – glad you liked the lemon bars! But what did you think of my price? You ready to come list it for $400K?”
BAM goes my head on the keyboard. This has been happening a lot lately.
Or I’m shooting emails back and forth with my asset mangler in the short sale department. When I’m satisfied, my last email is simply “Thank you for your time and attention, Alicia.” She responds, “This last email from you was unnecessary and wasted my time opening it. Please confine your communications strictly to business in the future.”
Huh!
Well, excuse the heck out of me, but I DO NOT agree that a thank you is unnecessary. (Alicia aside, I’ve noticed that asset manglers generally respond almost slavishly to a kind word. I suspect that they don’t get very many of them.)
I think that this trend goes back to the advent of texting. Back when every single letter was rationed we got pretty good at cutting out the fluff. I think it carried over into our everyday habits.
So what’s the solution? If we adopt an across-the-board protocol somebody is going to feel insulted. I can just imagine what my Mother-in-law would say if I sent her a card signed with only a
(:
but that’s perfectly acceptable in a text.
So it’s generational? Maybe. No, Alicia is 60-something, easy. Should we be brief with the younger generations and flowery with the oldsters? Nope. Some of the older people that I correspond with are the worst when it comes to abrupt emails. The key, I think, is technological competence. Maybe the more electronic time-savers somebody has at their disposal, the less time and patience they have for the niceties.
Things that make me go “Hmmmm…………”
I’ve noticed that the world of communication manners is changing. I lay this change at the door of 2 developments: texting, and dealing with the people who are crazybusy dealing with foreclosures and short sales.
I was taught that whenever I communicate, no matter what my point is, that point should follow a warm fuzzy.
Example:
I want to tell a seller that the price that they hope to get for their property is way too high and I won’t take their listing at that price – it needs to be a market value or we’re just wasting everybody’s time.
I send her an email. “Dear Mrs. Seller;
Thank you so much for taking the time to give me a tour of your wonderful home this morning. I greatly enjoyed myself, and your lemon bars are to die for! May I please have your recipe?
I’ve done a Comparative Market Analysis, which compares similar properties’ sales prices, which gives us a very good idea what an appraisal on your house would show.
It is my opinion is that it would sell for $100,000 to $110,000 today. I realize that this is about ¼ the amount that you told me……………..”
2 or 3 more carefully written paragraphs follow, clearly underlining and reiterating what I need for her to understand.
So that’s how I operate. I’m noticing, however, that people often open an email, read the first line, and respond.
So I get “Hey, Carol Anne – glad you liked the lemon bars! But what did you think of my price? You ready to come list it for $400K?”
BAM goes my head on the keyboard. This has been happening a lot lately.
Or I’m shooting emails back and forth with my asset mangler in the short sale department. When I’m satisfied, my last email is simply “Thank you for your time and attention, Alicia.” She responds, “This last email from you was unnecessary and wasted my time opening it. Please confine your communications strictly to business in the future.”
Huh!
Well, excuse the heck out of me, but I DO NOT agree that a thank you is unnecessary. (Alicia aside, I’ve noticed that asset manglers generally respond almost slavishly to a kind word. I suspect that they don’t get very many of them.)
I think that this trend goes back to the advent of texting. Back when every single letter was rationed we got pretty good at cutting out the fluff. I think it carried over into our everyday habits.
So what’s the solution? If we adopt an across-the-board protocol somebody is going to feel insulted. I can just imagine what my Mother-in-law would say if I sent her a card signed with only a
(:
but that’s perfectly acceptable in a text.
So it’s generational? Maybe. No, Alicia is 60-something, easy. Should we be brief with the younger generations and flowery with the oldsters? Nope. Some of the older people that I correspond with are the worst when it comes to abrupt emails. The key, I think, is technological competence. Maybe the more electronic time-savers somebody has at their disposal, the less time and patience they have for the niceties.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
We’ve been fighting this stupid rumor for 2 years that I’m aware of, that if anybody sells their home they will pay a 3.8% sales tax on the profits to Medicare, to fund “Obama’s health care act.”
I got this email this morning from 3 different people. 1 of those people was my Brother, inquiring if it’s true? The other 2 were just rabidly sheeping along, foaming at the mouth about how we have to vote to protect our homes and our equity.
Aaaaargh!
Here’s the body of this email:
> If you own a home, Please read this. THIS WILL BLOW YOU AWAY !!!!!
> The National Association of REALTORS is all over this and working to get it
> repealed, before it takes effect. But, I am very pleased we aren't the only
> ones who know about this ploy to steal billions from unsuspecting
> homeowners. How many REALTORS do you think will vote Democratic in 2012?
>
> Did you know that if you sell your house after 2012 you will pay a 3.8%
> sales tax on it? That's $3,800 on a $100,000 home, etc. When did this
> happen? It's in the health care bill and goes into effect in 2013.
>
> Why 2013? Could it be to come to light AFTER the 2012 elections? So, this is "change you can believe in"? Under the new health care bill all real estate transactions will be subject to a 3.8% Sales Tax.
>
> If you sell a $400,000 home, there will be a $15,200 tax.
> This bill is set to get the retiring generation who often downsize their homes. Does this make your November and 2012 vote more important?
> OH , you weren't aware this was in the Obamacare bill? Guess what, you aren't alone. There are more than a few members of Congress that aren't aware of it either.
*****************************************************************************
Can I give you some hard facts? The facts are that, yes, certain sales by high-income households will be affected by the new Medicare tax, possibly 1.5 percent of US households. (Not 1.5 percent of the US population - I said households.)
This tax applies only to people with an Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) of $200,000 for a single person or $250,000 for a couple.
The tax only kicks in after you take your capital gains exemption.
How about an example?
A couple with an AGI above the $250,000 limit sells their primary residence for $2 million. They make a $750,000 profit. Capital gains laws protect $500,000 of that $750,000, assuming that they have lived there for two out of the past five years. The 3.8-percent tax applies only to the $250,000 left over. Their tax liability under this new Medicare tax is $9,500. With all of the problems facing America right now, I’m not going to have a lot of heartburn over the fact that somebody in those income brackets profited $750,000 and had to give Medicare $9,500 of it.
My friend who sent this, please don’t be embarrassed that you were fooled. Somebody made this up and then published it, and then somebody else repeated it and it has spread like wildfire throughout certain circles.
To read the Health Care bill, go to http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/15/house-health-care-bill-fu_n_234372.html
To verify my research, go to http://www.factcheck.org/2010/04/a-38-percent-sales-tax-on-your-home/
Or, http://www.snopes.com/politics/taxes/realestate.asp
Or, http://www.realtor.org/small_business_health_coverage.nsf/docfiles/government_affairs_myth_busters.pdf/$FILE/government_affairs_myth_busters.pdf
I got this email this morning from 3 different people. 1 of those people was my Brother, inquiring if it’s true? The other 2 were just rabidly sheeping along, foaming at the mouth about how we have to vote to protect our homes and our equity.
Aaaaargh!
Here’s the body of this email:
> If you own a home, Please read this. THIS WILL BLOW YOU AWAY !!!!!
> The National Association of REALTORS is all over this and working to get it
> repealed, before it takes effect. But, I am very pleased we aren't the only
> ones who know about this ploy to steal billions from unsuspecting
> homeowners. How many REALTORS do you think will vote Democratic in 2012?
>
> Did you know that if you sell your house after 2012 you will pay a 3.8%
> sales tax on it? That's $3,800 on a $100,000 home, etc. When did this
> happen? It's in the health care bill and goes into effect in 2013.
>
> Why 2013? Could it be to come to light AFTER the 2012 elections? So, this is "change you can believe in"? Under the new health care bill all real estate transactions will be subject to a 3.8% Sales Tax.
>
> If you sell a $400,000 home, there will be a $15,200 tax.
> This bill is set to get the retiring generation who often downsize their homes. Does this make your November and 2012 vote more important?
> OH , you weren't aware this was in the Obamacare bill? Guess what, you aren't alone. There are more than a few members of Congress that aren't aware of it either.
*****************************************************************************
Can I give you some hard facts? The facts are that, yes, certain sales by high-income households will be affected by the new Medicare tax, possibly 1.5 percent of US households. (Not 1.5 percent of the US population - I said households.)
This tax applies only to people with an Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) of $200,000 for a single person or $250,000 for a couple.
The tax only kicks in after you take your capital gains exemption.
How about an example?
A couple with an AGI above the $250,000 limit sells their primary residence for $2 million. They make a $750,000 profit. Capital gains laws protect $500,000 of that $750,000, assuming that they have lived there for two out of the past five years. The 3.8-percent tax applies only to the $250,000 left over. Their tax liability under this new Medicare tax is $9,500. With all of the problems facing America right now, I’m not going to have a lot of heartburn over the fact that somebody in those income brackets profited $750,000 and had to give Medicare $9,500 of it.
My friend who sent this, please don’t be embarrassed that you were fooled. Somebody made this up and then published it, and then somebody else repeated it and it has spread like wildfire throughout certain circles.
To read the Health Care bill, go to http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/15/house-health-care-bill-fu_n_234372.html
To verify my research, go to http://www.factcheck.org/2010/04/a-38-percent-sales-tax-on-your-home/
Or, http://www.snopes.com/politics/taxes/realestate.asp
Or, http://www.realtor.org/small_business_health_coverage.nsf/docfiles/government_affairs_myth_busters.pdf/$FILE/government_affairs_myth_busters.pdf
Friday, March 30, 2012
Trauma Intervention Programs of AZ, Inc.
Volunteers Needed
Would you be able to give comfort to someone in their darkest hours? That’s what TIP volunteers do.
TIP, Trauma Intervention Programs of AZ, Inc., is a program where citizen volunteers respond to traumatic events, at the request of police, fire and hospital personnel. These volunteers comfort those affected by traumatic experiences, so that the first responders can continue with their jobs. TIP has hundreds of resources and dedicated instructors to work with to prepare you for such calls as natural or unexpected deaths, accidents, victims of crime, structure fires and suicides.
As you can imagine, this takes a special person to put themselves in the face of tragedy, to comfort a total stranger. “If someone who has experienced a tragedy has no one to lean on, you can really make an impact. I am honored to be allowed to share in what could be their darkest hour” states one volunteer.
TIP provides a caring presence and administers ‘emotional first aid’. They can be the information liaison between the client, medical staff, first responders, clergy and law enforcement and they are knowledgeable with county wide resources.
A TIP Training Academy begins on Thursday, April 26th in Cottonwood. For more information visit www.tipofaz.org or call 928-445-4655
Volunteers Needed
Would you be able to give comfort to someone in their darkest hours? That’s what TIP volunteers do.
TIP, Trauma Intervention Programs of AZ, Inc., is a program where citizen volunteers respond to traumatic events, at the request of police, fire and hospital personnel. These volunteers comfort those affected by traumatic experiences, so that the first responders can continue with their jobs. TIP has hundreds of resources and dedicated instructors to work with to prepare you for such calls as natural or unexpected deaths, accidents, victims of crime, structure fires and suicides.
As you can imagine, this takes a special person to put themselves in the face of tragedy, to comfort a total stranger. “If someone who has experienced a tragedy has no one to lean on, you can really make an impact. I am honored to be allowed to share in what could be their darkest hour” states one volunteer.
TIP provides a caring presence and administers ‘emotional first aid’. They can be the information liaison between the client, medical staff, first responders, clergy and law enforcement and they are knowledgeable with county wide resources.
A TIP Training Academy begins on Thursday, April 26th in Cottonwood. For more information visit www.tipofaz.org or call 928-445-4655
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
THINGS THAT REALTORS® WISH THAT BUYERS KNEW UP FRONT:
1: Buying real estate today is not like the last time you bought real estate, and not like when your parents bought real estate. The rules have changed.
A majority of the reasonably priced inventory on the market today is either bank owned (a foreclosure) or a short sale (a property that we are trying to sell for less than the owner owes on it. We have to get the bank/lender’s permission to do this. This bank/lender does not often have a reliable system in place to deal with our request, which means that short sales can be frustrating, bizarre, and unpredictable.)
Understand that the bank/seller or bank/current lender in these situations does not care whether or not you buy this property. If you step away they know that somebody else will step up.
The old back-and-forth negotiation rules that we all know and love will probably lose you a deal or two. Listen to your REALTOR®’s advice – this is not their first rodeo.
2: All real estate agents are not the same.
About half of the real estate agents out there are just that – people licensed by the State of Arizona to sell real estate. The other half are REALTORS®. REALTORS® are also licensed to sell real estate.
The difference is that REALTORS® have joined the National Association of REALTORS® (NAR), the Arizona Association of REALTORS® (AAR), and if you are reading this, it was given to you by a member of the Sedona Verde Valley Association of REALTORS® (SVVAR).
A REALTOR® has sworn to abide by the NAR Code of Ethics. If they have not sworn to adhere to the Code of Ethics they will not be allowed to be a member of any of these organizations. You can read the NAR Code of Ethics at http://www.realtor.org/mempolweb.nsf/pages/code
Look for that big ®. It means that you are dealing with an ethical professional. It means that your REALTOR® is highly trained and regulated, and that you now have the Multiple Listing Service (MLS) and the REALTOR’S® Property Resource (RPR) at your disposal.
3: Zillow’s Zestimates (and their ilk) are not gospel. They’re usually not even very accurate.
Zillow, Trulia, County Assessor’s property valuations – none of these tools are a reliable way to figure out what a particular property is worth. When you come to your REALTOR® and say “I want to offer the Zestimate price” you may or may not hear the snort, but I’ll bet it was there.
Zillow is an advertising site, not a property valuation site. Do you see those “Featured Partners” ads? Zillow makes money by selling those ad blocks, and they sell the ad blocks by getting people to come to Zillow hoping to get an insider’s scoop on property values.
Your REALTOR® has something better. We can pull current, accurate, targeted valuations through MLS and RPR®, using the RPR REALTOR® Valuation Model.
We know the neighborhoods and we know the properties. We can tell you what a property is worth and then we can prove it.
4: Your REALTOR® works on a commission basis.
REALTORS® do not usually get a salary. We get paid when your deal closes. We spend thousands of dollars to get licensed and thousands more in dues and continuing education. Gas, vehicle maintenance, clothes, cards, paper, ink, computers, office, MLS & SVVAR & AAR & NAR dues, all of this overhead is given to you on faith that you are real and are going to try to buy one of the properties that we show you.
People who think “It’s fun to look, and a cheap way to spend a Sunday” with no intention of buying might as well just come into our homes and steal money from our wallets and take the food off of our tables.
Also, trying to grab a piece of our commissions during the deal is tacky. It’s not “just good business” on your part.
5: Buying real estate does not have to be a fight.
Even though on paper this is an inherently adversarial process, in reality it doesn’t have to be. Some people say “Yeah, but they want to get the highest amount while I want to pay the least. Of course it’s adversarial!” I would counter with “You want to buy the property. They want you to buy the property. Your REALTOR® wants to help that to happen. Where’s the adversarial part?”
Deals can get blown and relationships ruined by the attitude that we must squeeze the last drop of blood out of the “other side.” We must not leave even one smidgen of crumb on the table!
Well, maybe you should leave that last crumb. Wouldn’t it be so much better after close of escrow if you felt comfortable calling up the seller and asking if they know why the trees are making that funny noise?
6. Your REALTOR® has the same fiduciary requirements to their clients that your attorney, priest, or doctor has.
That’s right – a REALTOR®’s client can expect the same level of confidentiality from their REALTOR® as you expect from your priest. Our agency relationship with a client mandates:
• Confidentiality
• Accountability
• Reasonable Care and Due Diligence
• Loyalty
• Obedience to lawful requests
• Advocating and Good Advice
• Disclosure
7: How do I become a client instead of just a customer?
Ask for, read and then sign the Buyer’s Broker employment form with your REALTOR®. If you don’t, all that you can legally expect is disclosure.
8: Yes, consensual dual agency is legal in Arizona.
Your REALTOR® is legally allowed to be both yours and “the other side’s” REALTOR®, as long as everybody involved is aware of what it means and agrees and gives written permission for them to do so by signing the Consent to Limited Dual Agency form.
What does signing this form mean to you? It means that the REALTOR® sort of sits on the fence in between both parties, refereeing. The reality is that sooner or later you will ask a question (How much will they really take for this property?) that your REALTOR® will answer with, “I’m sorry. I’m not allowed to answer that.” Rest assured that the other guy will get the same answer when he asks that same question (How much will they really pay?).
9. Your Arizona REALTOR® is allowed to write contracts.
We’re very highly trained in contract writing, and this is part of the service. If you want to run anything by your attorney, feel free. You don’t have to, but you certainly can.
If you have any question, ask your REALTOR®. They’ll be happy to explain until you’re satisfied.
1: Buying real estate today is not like the last time you bought real estate, and not like when your parents bought real estate. The rules have changed.
A majority of the reasonably priced inventory on the market today is either bank owned (a foreclosure) or a short sale (a property that we are trying to sell for less than the owner owes on it. We have to get the bank/lender’s permission to do this. This bank/lender does not often have a reliable system in place to deal with our request, which means that short sales can be frustrating, bizarre, and unpredictable.)
Understand that the bank/seller or bank/current lender in these situations does not care whether or not you buy this property. If you step away they know that somebody else will step up.
The old back-and-forth negotiation rules that we all know and love will probably lose you a deal or two. Listen to your REALTOR®’s advice – this is not their first rodeo.
2: All real estate agents are not the same.
About half of the real estate agents out there are just that – people licensed by the State of Arizona to sell real estate. The other half are REALTORS®. REALTORS® are also licensed to sell real estate.
The difference is that REALTORS® have joined the National Association of REALTORS® (NAR), the Arizona Association of REALTORS® (AAR), and if you are reading this, it was given to you by a member of the Sedona Verde Valley Association of REALTORS® (SVVAR).
A REALTOR® has sworn to abide by the NAR Code of Ethics. If they have not sworn to adhere to the Code of Ethics they will not be allowed to be a member of any of these organizations. You can read the NAR Code of Ethics at http://www.realtor.org/mempolweb.nsf/pages/code
Look for that big ®. It means that you are dealing with an ethical professional. It means that your REALTOR® is highly trained and regulated, and that you now have the Multiple Listing Service (MLS) and the REALTOR’S® Property Resource (RPR) at your disposal.
3: Zillow’s Zestimates (and their ilk) are not gospel. They’re usually not even very accurate.
Zillow, Trulia, County Assessor’s property valuations – none of these tools are a reliable way to figure out what a particular property is worth. When you come to your REALTOR® and say “I want to offer the Zestimate price” you may or may not hear the snort, but I’ll bet it was there.
Zillow is an advertising site, not a property valuation site. Do you see those “Featured Partners” ads? Zillow makes money by selling those ad blocks, and they sell the ad blocks by getting people to come to Zillow hoping to get an insider’s scoop on property values.
Your REALTOR® has something better. We can pull current, accurate, targeted valuations through MLS and RPR®, using the RPR REALTOR® Valuation Model.
We know the neighborhoods and we know the properties. We can tell you what a property is worth and then we can prove it.
4: Your REALTOR® works on a commission basis.
REALTORS® do not usually get a salary. We get paid when your deal closes. We spend thousands of dollars to get licensed and thousands more in dues and continuing education. Gas, vehicle maintenance, clothes, cards, paper, ink, computers, office, MLS & SVVAR & AAR & NAR dues, all of this overhead is given to you on faith that you are real and are going to try to buy one of the properties that we show you.
People who think “It’s fun to look, and a cheap way to spend a Sunday” with no intention of buying might as well just come into our homes and steal money from our wallets and take the food off of our tables.
Also, trying to grab a piece of our commissions during the deal is tacky. It’s not “just good business” on your part.
5: Buying real estate does not have to be a fight.
Even though on paper this is an inherently adversarial process, in reality it doesn’t have to be. Some people say “Yeah, but they want to get the highest amount while I want to pay the least. Of course it’s adversarial!” I would counter with “You want to buy the property. They want you to buy the property. Your REALTOR® wants to help that to happen. Where’s the adversarial part?”
Deals can get blown and relationships ruined by the attitude that we must squeeze the last drop of blood out of the “other side.” We must not leave even one smidgen of crumb on the table!
Well, maybe you should leave that last crumb. Wouldn’t it be so much better after close of escrow if you felt comfortable calling up the seller and asking if they know why the trees are making that funny noise?
6. Your REALTOR® has the same fiduciary requirements to their clients that your attorney, priest, or doctor has.
That’s right – a REALTOR®’s client can expect the same level of confidentiality from their REALTOR® as you expect from your priest. Our agency relationship with a client mandates:
• Confidentiality
• Accountability
• Reasonable Care and Due Diligence
• Loyalty
• Obedience to lawful requests
• Advocating and Good Advice
• Disclosure
7: How do I become a client instead of just a customer?
Ask for, read and then sign the Buyer’s Broker employment form with your REALTOR®. If you don’t, all that you can legally expect is disclosure.
8: Yes, consensual dual agency is legal in Arizona.
Your REALTOR® is legally allowed to be both yours and “the other side’s” REALTOR®, as long as everybody involved is aware of what it means and agrees and gives written permission for them to do so by signing the Consent to Limited Dual Agency form.
What does signing this form mean to you? It means that the REALTOR® sort of sits on the fence in between both parties, refereeing. The reality is that sooner or later you will ask a question (How much will they really take for this property?) that your REALTOR® will answer with, “I’m sorry. I’m not allowed to answer that.” Rest assured that the other guy will get the same answer when he asks that same question (How much will they really pay?).
9. Your Arizona REALTOR® is allowed to write contracts.
We’re very highly trained in contract writing, and this is part of the service. If you want to run anything by your attorney, feel free. You don’t have to, but you certainly can.
If you have any question, ask your REALTOR®. They’ll be happy to explain until you’re satisfied.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I’m not supposed to say “Merry Christmas” anymore because it isn’t PC. I started to climb up on my high horse, but then realized, “Well, yeah. If we assume that to say “Merry Christmas!” means that I’m attempting to force the majority of humans into a Christian mold then they’re right and we should give it a rest.”
But what if we just accept the spirit of the thing, instead of thinking so much all of the time? But maybe that’s just easy for me to say, not really being a member of any organizational religion. I called up some of my non-Christian friends and asked them if they feel insulted or coerced or bad when somebody smiles and waves and wishes them a Merry Christmas (or Easter, or Valentine’s Day…………) Neither the Buddhist nor the Taoist nor the Jew nor the atheist nor the agnostic feel insulted at the words “Merry Christmas!” They accept the motivation and ignore the details. It’s sort of like if I was Swedish I could still enjoy the fireworks on the fourth of July, right?
Do you detect some week before Xmas punchiness? Yes, you do. I’m tired of the stress, I’m tired of the buying, I’m tired of planning, I’m tired of thinking about the money I’m spending, I’m tired of Carols and cards and thrice-accursed commercials. (I had already cursed Christmas commercials thrice by the end of October. No telling what the count is by now.) I’m tired of thinking about it and I’ll be glad when the day is over.
I’ve forgotten what Christmas is all about.
But wait a minute! When I was a kid I started counting on December 26th. “365 days until Christmas.” Seriously – I always knew exactly how many days it was until next Christmas. So what the heck? I’d better figure it out before the ghosts come and take me on some strange trips.
(I know exactly what happened, actually. I blame Christmas for things that aren’t its fault. Christmas didn’t create horrible memories – horrible people did. Chance did. Bad luck did. Crap happens and there’s a 1 in 12 chance that it will happen during The Season. If I insist on associating that song or that smell with this happening pretty soon I’ve ruined the whole thing. So then I overcompensate by buying too much stuff, trying to make up for the fact that I’d rather be in Belize.)
But what about the good memories? I’ve been on this planet for 52 Christmases. There’s gotta be something to get twinkly about, right? There’s gotta be a grin or two back there someplace! There are. I’ve just gotta pull my head out of my attitude and see it. There are lots more grins and giggles than there are icks. LOTS more. OK. Like what?
I love the idea of celebrating the birthday of one of the world’s great teachers, and I really love “Peace on Earth, Good Will Towards All.” I love the children’s Winter programs. They do crack me up, those poor little kids up there on the stage. I love the tree. I love the lights. I love to give sparkly presents. (I hate to wrap them, but they’re sure pretty when they’re done.) I love the feast, and I especially love that I now have help cooking it. I love people’s attitudes this time of year - we really are nicer, I think. I love seeing the “Feed The Hungry” bins overflowing. I love the excitement on the grandchildren’s faces when they come over and see a new present under the tree. I love Ralphie.
I believe that the great leaders of all religions taught the same thing: Be nice. Be good. Do your best. Keep your priorities straight. Love another. Take care of the weak and feed the hungry. Do the right thing. We are all brothers and sisters, and what hurts one of us hurts all of us. Respect the Earth. At its best, Christmas embodies these concepts and gives us a season for embracing them.
So there’s the secret. I have to quit concentrating on the things that are nails on a blackboard to me, and make room to see and appreciate the things that are special to this time of year.
Happy Holidays!
But what if we just accept the spirit of the thing, instead of thinking so much all of the time? But maybe that’s just easy for me to say, not really being a member of any organizational religion. I called up some of my non-Christian friends and asked them if they feel insulted or coerced or bad when somebody smiles and waves and wishes them a Merry Christmas (or Easter, or Valentine’s Day…………) Neither the Buddhist nor the Taoist nor the Jew nor the atheist nor the agnostic feel insulted at the words “Merry Christmas!” They accept the motivation and ignore the details. It’s sort of like if I was Swedish I could still enjoy the fireworks on the fourth of July, right?
Do you detect some week before Xmas punchiness? Yes, you do. I’m tired of the stress, I’m tired of the buying, I’m tired of planning, I’m tired of thinking about the money I’m spending, I’m tired of Carols and cards and thrice-accursed commercials. (I had already cursed Christmas commercials thrice by the end of October. No telling what the count is by now.) I’m tired of thinking about it and I’ll be glad when the day is over.
I’ve forgotten what Christmas is all about.
But wait a minute! When I was a kid I started counting on December 26th. “365 days until Christmas.” Seriously – I always knew exactly how many days it was until next Christmas. So what the heck? I’d better figure it out before the ghosts come and take me on some strange trips.
(I know exactly what happened, actually. I blame Christmas for things that aren’t its fault. Christmas didn’t create horrible memories – horrible people did. Chance did. Bad luck did. Crap happens and there’s a 1 in 12 chance that it will happen during The Season. If I insist on associating that song or that smell with this happening pretty soon I’ve ruined the whole thing. So then I overcompensate by buying too much stuff, trying to make up for the fact that I’d rather be in Belize.)
But what about the good memories? I’ve been on this planet for 52 Christmases. There’s gotta be something to get twinkly about, right? There’s gotta be a grin or two back there someplace! There are. I’ve just gotta pull my head out of my attitude and see it. There are lots more grins and giggles than there are icks. LOTS more. OK. Like what?
I love the idea of celebrating the birthday of one of the world’s great teachers, and I really love “Peace on Earth, Good Will Towards All.” I love the children’s Winter programs. They do crack me up, those poor little kids up there on the stage. I love the tree. I love the lights. I love to give sparkly presents. (I hate to wrap them, but they’re sure pretty when they’re done.) I love the feast, and I especially love that I now have help cooking it. I love people’s attitudes this time of year - we really are nicer, I think. I love seeing the “Feed The Hungry” bins overflowing. I love the excitement on the grandchildren’s faces when they come over and see a new present under the tree. I love Ralphie.
I believe that the great leaders of all religions taught the same thing: Be nice. Be good. Do your best. Keep your priorities straight. Love another. Take care of the weak and feed the hungry. Do the right thing. We are all brothers and sisters, and what hurts one of us hurts all of us. Respect the Earth. At its best, Christmas embodies these concepts and gives us a season for embracing them.
So there’s the secret. I have to quit concentrating on the things that are nails on a blackboard to me, and make room to see and appreciate the things that are special to this time of year.
Happy Holidays!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
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