Today is National Missing Children’s Day. I learned some things that I want to pass on to
every single person in the world. Since
here I have a venue I’m saying it.
Y’all know that I volunteer for Trauma Intervention
Programs, (TIP). I spent last Thursday
being horrified and, interestingly, getting traumatized in my TIP capacity. TIP has liasoned with YCART, which means
Yavapai Child Abduction Response Team.
This is the Amber Alert program, which mobilizes whenever a child goes
missing. This training day was aimed at
all of us First Responders. It consisted
of horrible statistics and stories.
That’s where this piece comes in, with the one thing (No
– 2, well, actually, 3 things) that I want everyone to know to do. Please forward this to everybody. I and they will appreciate it, and you might
save a kid’s life by doing so.
Here’s a scenario:
I have a 3-year-old granddaughter that I often
baby-sit. If I ask and explain and bribe
her nicely, she is capable of entertaining herself for 15 or 20 minutes while I
get some work done.
So let’s say that one day we’ve come to an agreement
and I’m happily banging away on the computer while she plays with whatever I’ve
bribed her with.
Suddenly I realize that
the room is suspiciously quiet. I look
around and don’t see her.
I call her name.
No answer. I yell her name, using
The Serious Voice. No answer. Now I know there’s a problem because all of
the children are hard-wired to know that The Voice means no foolin’.
I run around the house, looking around corners and
under beds and in the covers. No
luck. I am now terrified. She just turned 3, I’m responsible for her,
and I don’t know where she is.
This calling and yelling and the cursory run-through
the house has taken about 2 minutes.
The next
second is critical. The next choice that
I make may mean the difference between a joyful reunion and a tragedy.
Statistically, people in this situation make another very
thorough search of the house and then go outside and look around the yard for a
while and then run up and down the street and then search the house again and
then go next door and roust the neighbors to help. This is a mistake, and it’s the mistake that
I don’t want anybody to make ever again.
During that first 2 minutes, the second that I realize
that I honestly do not know where my granddaughter is, that is the moment that
I will call 911. This is now a deadly
serious situation, and time is not on my side.
I have one chance, right here, to do the smart thing. I will call 911 and I will do it now. I can never go back and do this second over
again and I swear I will handle it correctly.
The heartbreaking statistic is that 60% of caregivers
waste over 2 hours looking on their own before they make the 911 call. The even bigger heartbreaker is that 76% of
children that are murdered are killed within 3 hours of their
disappearance. Every minute that a child
is gone, their chances for survival go down.
Need I say more?
The Amber Alert system nationwide is incredible, and
our local CART has not only gotten on the bandwagon, they’ve created a lot of
it. Within 5 minutes of me making the
911 call I will have a team of highly trained and organized professionals
systematically looking for my granddaughter.
(Actually, since I live in Jerome, it will be more like 30 seconds from
me making the call, since no place is more than 30 seconds away by lit up
police car.) This is way better than
just me, or just me and then the neighbors, yes?
I asked “How many people will show up?” “Within 5 minutes, 5. Within 20 minutes, 30. Within 3 hours, 140.” Whoa!
Guess who is looking for my granddaughter? The CART team consists of local cops and
firemen, Yavapai & Coconino & Maricopa Sheriffs, The Marshalls, FBI, Homeland
Security, National Guard, Air Force Reserves, Birds with FLIR (helicopters with
infrared sensors), PJs (Trauma surgeons), Search & Rescue, Probation & Parole
personnel, and anybody else with credentials that shows up, and they do show up.
When they said “5 minutes” during the training I
snorted. I raised my hand and said “Um,
response time in the Verde Valley averages 10 to 15 minutes.” They said “Not for a missing kid. Even if we were in the middle of investigating
a murder, if we heard the Amber tone we would drop everything and run. Amber Alerts are absolute highest priority,
bar none. On duty, off duty, full-time
people, part-time people, trainees, it doesn’t matter. If an Amber tone goes out everybody
scrambles. If at all humanly possible we
will have people on scene within 5 minutes.
No exceptions, no excuses.”
Within minutes of my call, helicopters will be in the
sky, dogs will be on the way, roadblocks will be up, and sex offenders will
have officials knocking on their doors. They
will find her.
Again I raise my hand.
“Wow! That is truly
impressive. But, I’m thinking of my son. He used to like to get his blankie and curl
up in the clothes dryer. (Yes, I admit
it. He was a different sort of child.) What if you mobilize this awesome Amber Alert
machine and then the kid is found asleep in the dryer?”
The Lieutenant answered “That would totally make
everybody’s day. We love to get
cancelled because the kid was found safe.”
I said “That would be really embarrassing, calling you
and then nothing was wrong.”
He said, “I would rather have you feel embarrassed than
have you at a funeral, or looking at a loved one’s picture on a milk carton.” Oh. Yeah.
The truly horrifying story was of the small child who
went out the doggie door, toddled a good half a mile to an irrigation ditch,
and drowned. This kid was mostly still
crawling. In the time that it took him
to get to that irrigation ditch, if CART had been called they would have found
him long before he got there. That’s the
horrifying story, and I pray for such a thing to never happen again.
Please pass the word.
If everybody’s worst nightmare happens don’t be embarrassed. Make the 911 call immediately and get your
kid found safe. When you call, don’t hem
and haw. Say “Three year old girl, GONE!”
and give the address so that dispatch can get the team scrambling. Then you can tell the story, and say “There’s
probably nothing wrong and I’m sure she’ll show up any second now……...” and
then go open the door for the cops because they will be there that quickly,
ecstatic that you didn’t waste time.
The second thing?
Educate the children. There were
2 sound bites on this subject that hit me right between the eyes:
“If people don’t know what to do they will do what
they’re told to do.” If the person
doing the telling is a predator, that’s a horrific statement. Children HAVE to know what to do. They have to know not to listen to threats,
and they have to know that if they don’t know somebody they don’t go with them
even if the guy is wearing a police uniform.
They have to know that they don’t go with somebody that they do know
unless that person knows the code word that’s been previously agreed upon. No way!
Better safe than sorry.
“Kids who scream, kick, scream, fight, bite, run, and
scream some more don’t get abducted.” Really?
Really. Predators don’t want a
ruckus, and they will drop your kid and go find one that’s compliant. Have a drill.
Practice screaming. Seriously –
have a drill. The kids will know what to
do if they practice it.
I know. It
broke my heart to be having “practice screaming sessions” with my grandchildren,
and explaining to them why. I’ll tell
you what, though – this only broke my heart a little bit. A kid snatched would kill me.
The third thing:
If you see something that (In the words of these cops that I spent my
day with) looks “skeevy,” make noise. They
showed us a video of a 7 year old girl who was participating in a cop
experiment. She walked down a busy big
city sidewalk, an actor grabbed her, and she started screaming “Stranger! Stranger!
Help!” 4 out 5 adults on the
sidewalk did absolutely nothing – they just kept walking. In interviews with these people later, they
said either “I didn’t want to get involved” (and there is a special place in
Hell for those people) or “I didn’t know what to do.” OK, I’ll tell you what to do. Start yelling. Tackle the guy. Call 911.
Take a picture of the guy with your phone while you yell. Do SOMETHING, do ANYTHING to help a kid
that’s in trouble. (I do believe that here
in our small communities, out here in The Wild West, the ratio would be
reversed – I think that 4 out of 5 people would intervene, and please leave my
rose-colored glasses alone.)
I don’t want to alarm you…….. well, actually, yes I
do. I do want to alarm you. There are 1.3 MILLION missing children reported
every year in this country. Most do make
it home safely. Of those 1.3 million,
only 100 are confirmed stranger abductions, plus another 350 or so that are suspected. It’s incredibly rare, but when it does happen
it is the most horrible thing that you can imagine.
I said “Aw, c’mon!
This doesn’t happen around here!”
They said that just about once a year we have an attempted abduction in
Yavapai County. Dear God. I did not want to know that. Hear that sound? That’s my rose-colored glasses breaking.
Thank you for listening.