Thanksgiving musings

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving is the anniversary of the day that my youngest son came home. Jess went to live in a Buddhist monastery in China when he was 15. I was not enamored with this idea, but he determinedly sabotaged every alternative that I came up with and I finally capitulated and sent him. It was the best thing that ever happened to him. When he left he was a self-centered child. When he came back he was barefoot because he was ashamed to be wearing shoes whose price would have fed a family for a year over there.

China was awful. There are lots of stories, but the one that I think the most about is this: When Jess would go to town, people would sometimes run up and throw their girl babies at him. When he caught the babies and his hands were full with them, other children would swarm over him, taking everything that was in his pockets. This happened repeatedly because he is not capable of not catching the babies. He finally let one of those kids take his shoes.

I was thinking about this when I bumped into an acquaintance and wished him a wonderful Thanksgiving. He replied, “Bah on your Thanksgiving! I have nothing to be thankful for.”

I wanted to smack him.

I replied, “Well, you’re standing upright. The sun is shining. You have clean clothes on your back and shoes on your feet, you’re obviously well fed, and you don’t have to throw your children at people as your means of making a living.”
We talked for a while and it turned out that he had tons of things to be thankful for – he decided on the spot to go his daughter’s house for the Holiday and visit his grandchildren. He loves his daughter and her kids, and he was looking forward to spending some time with them.

This man was so focused on all of the circumstances in his life that had not gone as planned that he had forgotten to see his blessings.

This is what Thanksgiving is all about. It’s an entire day devoted to noticing and appreciating the good things in life. Wow! What a great concept!

When my boys were small, every night I asked them to tell me 10 things that had happened that day that were good. Even after the most horrible day we could still always come up with 10 good things.
One of MY good things every night is that they still count THEIR good things at the end of each day, and they’re teaching my grandchildren to do the same thing. I think that this habit is one of the 3 the greatest gifts that I’ve given them, along with music and reading.

So they were all here Saturday night for dinner, and I asked the grandchildren what they had that day for good things. Allow me to share.

Binko, 8 years old: Waking up to the smell of bacon and waffles cooking – Led Zeppelin – smelling their puppy Guinness’ breath – TV - the bubble bath that they all 3 just took – my homemade tamales – football – hiding with his brother and cousin to eat the candy bars that I sneaked them - seeing his family.

Turtle, 5 years old, almost: playing Girl Games on the computer – chocolate – her new sparkly hair ties – pondering (Yes, she actually said “pondering.”) what kind of birthday cake I should make her – the pink bead that she found in the driveway – butterflies – shiny hair – getting her weekly toe nail painting - flowers.

JackJack – 4 years old: Cheese - SpongeBob SquarePants - Being a ninja – Cheese, again (the boy does like his cheese) - Farts - Wed Zeppwin – Fishes - Candy bar, (whispered, with big eyes and a giggle.) New shoes – this party – that big bird that we watched.

Now you’ve met 3 of my blessings. At the end of the day when I list my blessings and then when I list 10 good things that happened I forget about the economy and the market and all of the other plagues of our lives. I’m reminded that money and stuff are just that – stuff. Stuff is replaceable, but our blessings are not.

Try it now – it’s fun. Tell yourself right now your best blessings, and then think of 10 things that happened in the last 24 hours that were good things. If you don’t come out of this exercise in a better mood than when you started it then you’re not really trying.

Happy Thanksgiving from me and my family to you and your family. May we remember to make every day be a Thanksgiving! Blessings upon all of us, everyone.